How To Stop People-Pleasing and Live Boldly At Any Age w/ Carla Hall

[SPEAKER_01]: Every decade, I was 10 pounds heavier, and I had to accept that. [SPEAKER_00]: Do I really want to be 30 again? [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_00]: Because the chef, a television host and an advocate in conversation around aging, wellness, and showing up fully. [SPEAKER_00]: You know Carla Hall from Top Chef, but lately it's her fearless honesty about embracing menopause and rejecting the pressure to shrink that's making an incredible impact. [SPEAKER_01]: There's a difference between lifespan and health span and leaning into the health span. [SPEAKER_00]: You're surrounded by amazing food. [SPEAKER_00]: How do you navigate that? [SPEAKER_01]: I have shifted how I think about food knowing that I need more protein. [SPEAKER_00]: I only... You've stayed very

visible without losing your joy. [SPEAKER_01]: If you know yourself then you know the environments that you do well. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: If you walk into an environment that's toxic for you then you have to remove yourself. [SPEAKER_01]: The other thing is [SPEAKER_00]: Expert care for menopause and sexual health now just to click away. [SPEAKER_00]: Virtual care by her MD offers longer visits, personalized treatment plans, and trusted providers all from the comfort of the home. [SPEAKER_00]: Learn more at her MD.com. [SPEAKER_00]: This episode was sponsored by her MD. [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, friend! [SPEAKER_00]: You've had more chapters than most accounting, modeling, culinary, TV. [SPEAKER_00]: What keeps you walking through those doors that most people wouldn't even dare

knock on? [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, at this stage is curiosity, but I must say that when I was younger, I was just afraid of being 40 and hating my job. [SPEAKER_01]: So I was running away from something versus towards something. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think sometimes, and in the process of those 40 years, I just developed a muscle of going into an environment that I didn't know. [SPEAKER_01]: But mainly, it's curiosity that drives me. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, curiosity is a super power. [SPEAKER_00]: It's why I went into OB-GYN because I wanted to learn every single day. [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to do different things and not the same thing every day. [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to fix problems and do

procedures and prevent problems. [SPEAKER_00]: So I loved that. [SPEAKER_00]: You and I have recently had big birthdays. [SPEAKER_00]: I just turned 50 and you are 61 years young now. [SPEAKER_01]: One year of the dragon, yes. [SPEAKER_00]: I love that. [SPEAKER_00]: So you talked about it as a moment of personal power. [SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of women fear that number. [SPEAKER_00]: What's changed in how you think about your body, your brain, and your voice? [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I think in terms of my body, my body, what I realized every decade I was 10 pounds heavier. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's just what it is. [SPEAKER_01]: And I had to accept that. [SPEAKER_01]: In terms of my brain,

my mother has dementia, so I became obsessed with brain health and look at things that I could do exercising, like all of those things, reading, and then my voice is about accepting those things, accepting it and staying it in the power of those things. [SPEAKER_01]: And literally saying, do I really want to be 30 again? [SPEAKER_01]: Do I really want to be for it again? [SPEAKER_01]: And the answer was no, because as I age, the bucket of buckets gets bigger. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm loving that, I love that. [SPEAKER_00]: I love that so much. [SPEAKER_00]: I heard you say that on stage. [SPEAKER_00]: I think once and I was like, I love her bucket of buckets.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think that is amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: You talk about this weight gain that you had with every decade. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's very natural for women, whether or not you've had children. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it can be childbearing, it can be medications. [SPEAKER_00]: Aging, it can be a changing microbiome. [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, we know the hormonal shifts that occur, but your job is you're surrounded by amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: food. [SPEAKER_00]: How does one balance that? [SPEAKER_00]: Because for me, food is pleasure. [SPEAKER_00]: And I always tell my children, especially my teenage girls, food should not be associated with shame. [SPEAKER_00]: You shouldn't deprive yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: And when you do choose to eat something, it should be joyful. [SPEAKER_00]:

And so, how do you navigate that? [SPEAKER_00]: And then you're on TV on top of it. [SPEAKER_01]: So, I did shift. [SPEAKER_01]: I shift it. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, [SPEAKER_01]: I'm always thinking, I'm even pet my mother, 84. [SPEAKER_01]: What's your protein plan, mom? [SPEAKER_01]: How much protein did you get? [SPEAKER_01]: So I have shifted how I think about food, knowing that I need more protein. [SPEAKER_01]: I only taste. [SPEAKER_01]: Like on the shows, if I'm on a dessert showing, and I have to eat a lot of desserts. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what do I eat before? [SPEAKER_01]: What do I have in terms of fiber and things to absorb that sugar, so I don't spike? [SPEAKER_01]: After

I take a bite, I'm walking around the judging table. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not at snacks, I have hummus, I have carrots, so I literally have a plan. [SPEAKER_01]: I also, when I am sharing recipes on thinking, all right, so let me let me share something yummy and delicious with a grain or something that you don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: let me pair, so I'm teaching people how to eat, but I'm also doing recipes that I want to eat that I am sharing, like, sorghum. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay, you like meatballs. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so let's have a chicken meatballs and let's put some sorghum in it. [SPEAKER_01]: Something that is familiar, paired with something that is unfamiliar, that is good

for your body. [SPEAKER_00]: So I will tell you something personal. [SPEAKER_00]: I watched you making that cinnamon bread that you had. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, dollywood. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, no, because my daughter, I'm visiting her this weekend. [SPEAKER_00]: She's away as a camp counselor, and she turns 19. [SPEAKER_00]: And that is her weakness, like cinnamon rolls, like everywhere we go, like if there's a really good bakery, like that's what we get. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm gonna make those for her this weekend. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna try, I'm an excellent cook. [SPEAKER_00]: I am not a good baker. [SPEAKER_00]: So I will let you know how that turns out, whether it's a tragedy or it's a big, [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, let

me know. [SPEAKER_01]: I love red. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, red is my weakness, and I have the same intolerance. [SPEAKER_01]: So it has to be good in order for me to have this clog throat. [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, no, I love red and I've been working on a baking book that comes out next year. [SPEAKER_01]: So I've gained 15 pounds just over that. [SPEAKER_01]: Forget the decade. [SPEAKER_01]: I've jumped for decade. [SPEAKER_01]: And I said that part. [SPEAKER_00]: So you did what a lot of us do in college because that's what I did I came home from my first semester and my mother was like, I thought it was God love her. [SPEAKER_00]: She was like, I

thought it was a freshman 15 over the whole year And I just looked at her. [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I've been studying really hard mom. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm pre-med likely to be [SPEAKER_00]: So you've been super outspoken about menopause, it's how you and I met mental health and body image. [SPEAKER_00]: What do you think your personal tipping point was where you just stopped editing yourself? [SPEAKER_01]: Um, no, I did. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I am a words of affirmation person. [SPEAKER_01]: So I, you know, I would edit a little bit, but also there is a part of me. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I had to bring in the other thing. [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm in any grant. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm

a seven wing eight wing eight sort of speak their mind. [SPEAKER_01]: So that has been a part of me. [SPEAKER_01]: who I speak my mind, too, in terms of being outspoken. [SPEAKER_01]: But I've got to the point where I realize that everything in this life is for me. [SPEAKER_01]: As I age, that is for me. [SPEAKER_01]: That process is for me. [SPEAKER_01]: So I walk into a room thinking, if this is for me, then my thoughts and ideas, if my intentions are pure, [SPEAKER_01]: I can't mess up, so I can't mess up in this world. [SPEAKER_01]: And I really tell when I walk in, do you know what you're getting? [SPEAKER_01]: You're not going to

get the Carla phone last year. [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to get this Carla. [SPEAKER_01]: So if you want to hire me, it is this Carla. [SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't want this Carla, then I don't want the job. [SPEAKER_01]: I would rather leave a thing be in myself than to say be in someone that you think I am. [SPEAKER_01]: And that is the power. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that has been for the last 10 years. [SPEAKER_01]: I am passionate about really going through this journey and finding out who I am, not people pleasing to the point where I lose myself. [SPEAKER_00]: And I love that I've had to have coaching and therapy to step into my

power and I think those of us who are in the spotlight, however it is in healthcare, in entertainment. [SPEAKER_00]: People think you have it all figured out, but I always say that [SPEAKER_00]: I am a 50-year-old work in progress, I'm continually learning, I'm continually curious, I'm continually not perfecting because I'm not chasing perfection, that's exhausting. [SPEAKER_00]: But continuing to improve and to really, like I said, own my own power and not put myself in situations anymore where I shrink or become the version of myself that people think I need to be. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's the same thing. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and I've worked with companies and they're like, [SPEAKER_00]: We love putting you

on stage, but sometimes we hold our breath because we never know what's going to come out. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like the truth. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what's going to come out. [SPEAKER_00]: The truth. [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, that's what you're going to get from me. [SPEAKER_00]: So talking about owning our power and being visible, you've stayed very visible in an industry that doesn't always make space for us, especially as we start to age, right? [SPEAKER_00]: At once. [SPEAKER_00]: minority women, like you and I, you don't see a lot of us around. [SPEAKER_00]: And so how do you navigate that tension, that push and pull without losing your joy? [SPEAKER_00]: Because Carla, when I watch you, there's the one thing

that emanates from you, there's a lot. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, warmth immediately. [SPEAKER_00]: But joy, how do you, how do you not lose that? [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I have a good picker. [SPEAKER_01]: I choose things that I want to do, I choose who I want to work with, when I think of it like this, when I say yes to something, I am lending my energy to the project. [SPEAKER_01]: It is not just about me as about everybody. [SPEAKER_01]: I think about me being a part of the team. [SPEAKER_01]: So I go in with the idea that we are a team, and it's important for me to work with people. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, if you know yourself then you

know the environments that you do well in. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: So, if you walk into an environment that seems toxic for you, it may not be toxic for someone else. [SPEAKER_01]: So, it is toxic for you, then you have to remove yourself from that environment. [SPEAKER_01]: And you look for environments that you feel supported and you are supporting others. [SPEAKER_01]: The other thing is when you see me doing all these different things, [SPEAKER_01]: If someone is not hiring me for a thing, because people will naturally put me into, they're like, oh, that's the fluke, but because I'm a known quantity in food. [SPEAKER_01]: But there are other things that I want to do, and so

I will invest the time and effort and energy in building a runway for those things. [SPEAKER_01]: Like my one-woman show, nobody's gonna, I mean, yeah, I can do a cameo role. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you will have me do things like girls trip, or voiceovers, but I really wanted to do a one-woman show. [SPEAKER_01]: When by the time you see me doing the thing, I've already spent five years, three years working on it, behind the scenes, doing it, and only my power so that when by the time you see me, it feels very natural. [SPEAKER_01]: But I've already done the work, and a lot of times people think that they can step into something, and it happens

overnight, but it doesn't. [SPEAKER_01]: You have to invest in yourself. [SPEAKER_01]: And so that's what about this time, you see me go, oh my god, I've made it! [SPEAKER_01]: Yes! [SPEAKER_00]: So you said too, such important things that I want to touch back on. [SPEAKER_00]: So number one, removing yourselves from workplace toxicity because I have been there, experienced it myself. [SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, from people who just want to shut down your light and realizing that sometimes you're looking around, you're like, [SPEAKER_00]: am I crazy? [SPEAKER_00]: Like why is no one else experiencing this? [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's fear, right? [SPEAKER_00]: They don't want to lose their job. [SPEAKER_00]: They can't afford to. [SPEAKER_00]: You and

I are lucky enough that we can now choose our projects. [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like that's very powerful in itself. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I can choose now where I want to be. [SPEAKER_00]: When I was a resident and I wasn't fully yet board certified, I didn't have that choice, right? [SPEAKER_00]: I was working a hundred hours a week. [SPEAKER_00]: Now I have that choice. [SPEAKER_00]: So I think that is so powerful is [SPEAKER_00]: don't be afraid to leave a toxic environment and it may not be toxic for everybody else, but it may be toxic for you. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I love the fact that you said that, and now my permanent aposal brain fog is they're

going to love this clip because I'm like, what is the second point that I wanted to make? [SPEAKER_00]: You said something so powerful, and I was like, I love that as well. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, what, yes, how long people think that it happened overnight, like they'll see you do it. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, oh my god, you did her MD, like her MD's amazing and I have people asking me about it. [SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, when did you open the first one? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, it's been a decade. [SPEAKER_00]: I've been doing this for a decade. [SPEAKER_00]: And they're like, oh, why are we just reading about it now? [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I was

doctoring. [SPEAKER_00]: I literally was building the business. [SPEAKER_00]: I was hiring. [SPEAKER_00]: I was opening other locations. [SPEAKER_00]: I was fundraising. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, but they don't hear about it until you make the splashy headline, but they don't see the years of building the thought that everything that went into that moment, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Where everyone finally sees what you've been doing. [SPEAKER_00]: So. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and I want to go back to a task environment, so I believe that you are where you're meant to be, and sometimes that is a sign or a messenger of your lessons, so you learn something from it. [SPEAKER_01]: So don't, everybody, everything is not comfortable. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, for the

first three years with the two, I thought I was going to get fired. [SPEAKER_01]: Everything is comfortable. [SPEAKER_01]: But I learned something, and I felt like it was a toxic environment, but here's later, I went back and thanked that producer for being the messenger of my lessons because without those lessons, I wouldn't be here now. [SPEAKER_01]: So you have to kind of realize, instead of wanting things really comfortable, are you growing in this thing? [SPEAKER_01]: Are you learning what you need, what you want to thrive? [SPEAKER_01]: because without it you wouldn't know like without without feeling like some kind of pain and somewhere in your body you wouldn't get a signal about something else as

you need it to have that signal about and then you know what I mean? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I do. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm laughing because there are a couple lessons that I had to learn a couple times and I was thrown up to the heavens and be like, how many times am I going to end up in this same situation? [SPEAKER_00]: And then I finally asked my coach, I go, what am I doing? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, let me let me introspectively look like, yes, this person is toxic. [SPEAKER_00]: What am I doing? [SPEAKER_00]: And I learned something super interesting about myself. [SPEAKER_00]: And I've never said this out loud, but here we are and [SPEAKER_00]: I have

a bad professional picker. [SPEAKER_00]: I have a very good personal picker. [SPEAKER_00]: And what do I mean by that? [SPEAKER_00]: I am attracted to narcissists in the workspace. [SPEAKER_00]: Not on purpose, I don't know their narcissists, but narcissists tend to be very intelligent, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And I am drawn to very intelligent people. [SPEAKER_00]: I love having high level discussions. [SPEAKER_00]: I love surrounding myself by intelligent people. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not intimidated by them. [SPEAKER_00]: And I guess a lot of intelligent people are narcissistic. [SPEAKER_00]: And so now I know I can spot them on our cyst a million miles away. [SPEAKER_00]: The universe had to give me a couple of them before I realized. [SPEAKER_00]: And

what I realized in me, it's the empath, the healer, the doctor, the one that usually can [SPEAKER_00]: You know, what did you say to me? [SPEAKER_00]: You're so approachable. [SPEAKER_00]: You break things down. [SPEAKER_00]: It was the empath and me that these narcissists wanted to destroy. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not good enough to just, you know, push me away or make it toxic. [SPEAKER_00]: No, they wanted to destroy you because it's the one thing that they don't have. [SPEAKER_00]: They may have success and intelligence and money, but they don't have that ability to relate to people, to motivate them without a title. [SPEAKER_00]: And so that was my hardest lesson. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but now, you know, I'm

writing a book about it. [SPEAKER_00]: It's cathartic and now it 50 years young. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying I'm not going to make mistakes because you and I aren't chasing perfection, but now I can spot those personalities a million miles away. [SPEAKER_01]: And for me, that is a valuable lesson. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I don't, I don't hold those people in that space. [SPEAKER_01]: I might thank you for being my teacher. [SPEAKER_01]: If you, if you have failed a test in college or wherever in grade school, are you still holding onto that test and you're mad about it? [SPEAKER_01]: No, you let it go and you thank them because now you can recognize it. [SPEAKER_01]: So I

love it. [SPEAKER_01]: I love that for you. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I love it too. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I wish we didn't have to go through the other those experiences. [SPEAKER_00]: But like you said, if you look at it, like this was my Rolex of learnings from that, I think it ends up being a positive thing. [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna get into some rapid fire. [SPEAKER_00]: Are you ready? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, ready, ready. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, ready. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: What's your spice blend in three words? [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, oh, my personal spice blend blend. [SPEAKER_01]: Joy, unpredictable creatives. [SPEAKER_00]: The dish that defines your mood right now. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, soft scrambled eggs with a little bit of borsan cheese.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ah, that sounds amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: And then if you can put a little bit of truffle on that. [SPEAKER_00]: And then what? [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god. [SPEAKER_01]: Because you know, it feels decadent. [SPEAKER_01]: It feels creamy. [SPEAKER_01]: It feels perfectly cooked. [SPEAKER_01]: And you can make it at home. [SPEAKER_01]: And it's got protein. [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_01]: It's got protein. [SPEAKER_01]: That would be my first protein at the day. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, what's a rule about aging that you have completely ignored? [SPEAKER_00]: And I should say an antiquated rule about aging that you've completely ignored. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, that's 60 looks some, a particular way that you can't wear something because you're 60 that you can't do something

because you're 60. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, like, age defines what I do, what I look like who I am. [SPEAKER_00]: I heard you call 60 something else once, do you want to share that? [SPEAKER_00]: I love it! [SPEAKER_00]: What? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes! [SPEAKER_00]: Yes! [SPEAKER_00]: I love it! [SPEAKER_00]: Some of the best sexual health stories I've ever heard from patients are in the sixth and seventh decade of life. [SPEAKER_00]: Children are out of the house. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they are done with career or they've reached their career goals. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they're out of a toxic relationship and kind of they found their picker too. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I had one that ended up in she was in two bad

marriages and she was in her seventh decade of life and she moved in next to she moved to a new neighborhood and her neighbor ended up being her [SPEAKER_00]: And she shared with me first orgasm ever in her seven second of life like I was like oh my gosh I said you are my hero. [SPEAKER_00]: I love this story so much her first husband was abusive So she never felt safe in the environment [SPEAKER_00]: Her second husband was very ill, very quickly, and so that relationship more and more was about taking care of him and her being his caretaker, and so she never got to explore her own sexuality, truly. [SPEAKER_00]: And so she's telling

me this story, and I'm like, I love this for you so much, and then my other patient, 80, Carla, 80, I was like, I think I want to be you. [SPEAKER_00]: She comes into the [SPEAKER_00]: And then she's telling me about this new relationship that she's in, and she brings in a package, and she shows me, and it's a brand new song. [SPEAKER_00]: And I, she's like, I've never had the guts to do this, but she's like, I'm 80. [SPEAKER_00]: Who cares at this point? [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I love this, and I think he's gonna, she's like, do you think he's gonna like it? [SPEAKER_00]: I think he's gonna love it. [SPEAKER_01]: I love

that too because of not now when, and also you would set something to me during our conversation when I interviewed you for the magazine. [SPEAKER_01]: Really sex is about the... [SPEAKER_01]: between your head, like, you know. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're brave, you're brave. [SPEAKER_01]: And it absolutely is true. [SPEAKER_01]: But also, what are you gonna do with this confidence? [SPEAKER_01]: That's part of that fucking spucket. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm just doing it. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, this is my body, this is who I am. [SPEAKER_00]: This is what I have to offer and the fact that I love that they're doing it for themselves too. [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean? [SPEAKER_00]: And taking control of that power

and owning what they have. [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm telling you, for those of you, like, you are a spot on, I love it. [SPEAKER_00]: We're calling it sexy, right? [SPEAKER_00]: You said love it. [SPEAKER_00]: What is one thing about turning 60 that surprised you? [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it was because I have gray hair. [SPEAKER_01]: If there is a bit of [SPEAKER_01]: reverence from younger people. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you know what I mean? [SPEAKER_01]: Um, because I feel very young, but when I am offered, I know this, there shouldn't be the thing, but when I'm offered a seat or when people get and not everybody, let me just say that. [SPEAKER_01]: There's a, there's a, there's a,

there's a, there's a, [SPEAKER_01]: of reverence for the age and my experience in some circles and it was almost like I had a ketchup to it, mentally I had a ketchup to it. [SPEAKER_01]: Like in the in the food world or in I still feel like a baby in some respects. [SPEAKER_01]: So so there is that. [SPEAKER_01]: The other thing was how I talked to my husband [SPEAKER_01]: about sex and this is oh my god I have to tell you I can't believe I'm saying this now so it's getting juicy and not in the kitchen we just we did are yes but oh my thing is a whole room we do you we just you

did yes yeah okay y'all a or why a um I know and Carla they should be sponsoring this episode right with you and I talking about it but anyway that's [SPEAKER_01]: So we did it and it was so great because again, the conversation I would have never done that I wouldn't have had the confidence to do it But we're in it together and there was at one point. [SPEAKER_01]: No, I can't. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I will, I'm just like, wait, no, no, you can't leave me hanging, why don't they resist one little tool, but it's about touch, right? [SPEAKER_01]: There's this one little tool, but it was spiky, and then I was just like, ugh, dude,

I thought you said, but I thought you liked it. [SPEAKER_01]: And he was like, shut, you would tear it me up, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, [SPEAKER_01]: So you're in there, like a kitchen tool. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, exactly, like I've put it up high crust. [SPEAKER_01]: We got such a laugh, but the connection and laughing and talking

about it, you don't have a, was so incredibly special. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's sort of, we bought into it. [SPEAKER_01]: And so we just, it's been great. [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's why I love that company so much is that it does give you that tangible, either storytelling, the device is something to make the conversation like you said easier. [SPEAKER_00]: It involves both people if you are in a relationship and it kind of gives you what you want based on your feedback. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not gonna send you something you're completely uncomfortable with. [SPEAKER_00]: And so Kudos to that company and I love the fact that I was able to introduce you to that in the past. [SPEAKER_00]:

I am a client as well and we are very happy because you know I've been married next year I'll be 30 years and so it brings in spice, it brings in fun, it brings in curiosity and so it's a it's a great thing to have and [SPEAKER_00]: So for me, the thing that surprised me most about turning 50, I was like, yes, 50's gonna be about not giving any apps anymore, and I'm so excited and I had all these plans, and then I and I'm all about Yolo. [SPEAKER_00]: You only live ones to start the business, take the chance, say you love someone, say you're sorry, just do it. [SPEAKER_00]: Like we're here once, and

I think some of it is because I am married to a cancer doctor, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And he sees life that can change in an instant. [SPEAKER_00]: But I think what happened is I started to get very emotional a couple of days before, and I think it's because my mother got sick when she was 45. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, she's alive to this day, but almost died. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think I started thinking a lot about my own mortality, as I talked about health and wellness and longevity, and I was like, I probably have more days behind me than I do in front of me. [SPEAKER_00]: And these morbid thoughts that normally, [SPEAKER_00]: I'm the biggest optimist

in the world. [SPEAKER_00]: And my husband's like, what are you doing? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you're exactly where you want to be. [SPEAKER_00]: Your relationships are where you want them to be. [SPEAKER_00]: You're where you want to be business-wise. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you've done a lot of things. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, yes, you want to do a lot of more. [SPEAKER_00]: But... [SPEAKER_00]: It's like you can't, you can't think that way. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that was the biggest surprise for me for 50. [SPEAKER_00]: This was the first birthday where I got a little emotional, but on the sad side. [SPEAKER_00]: I quickly got over it and focused on the positive, but I wasn't expecting that Carla, especially not for

me. [SPEAKER_00]: Like knowing who I am, it was very bizarre. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, and I know so things like that in concepts, just sort of pop into your head. [SPEAKER_01]: And I used to say I wanted to live to 104 because I'm competitive in my great-grandmother live in Socialism. [SPEAKER_01]: Great, so I wanted to beat her, right? [SPEAKER_01]: So, but recently, I was like, there's a difference between lifespan and health span. [SPEAKER_01]: And I am really leaning into the health span. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I just recently, so I get my blood worked on, um, at least four times a year, you know, and for functional medicine and then having somebody go over it. [SPEAKER_01]: The last,

um, and I, I stopped working out and all that stuff and then, uh, I said, let me get back to it. [SPEAKER_01]: Eight weeks, my blood, I mean, like cholesterol went down. [SPEAKER_01]: A1C went down and I'm like, oh my gosh, I now don't have as much of a brain fog. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, oh, oh, I see exercise isn't the choice. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, if I want to look at this health span, I do, I have to do it. [SPEAKER_01]: So I may as well do something. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm investing in myself the same way that I build a runway to those projects. [SPEAKER_01]: I have to build a runway to my health span. [SPEAKER_01]:

And so, and I literally, I recently, that's been in the last two months. [SPEAKER_00]: And I agree with you because you know part of the thing that I'm trying to do with her MD and as a doctor and now personally living myself is I want to smash that statistic right now. [SPEAKER_00]: Women live longer but in much, much poorer health and who wants to do that? [SPEAKER_00]: I want to live longer but healthier. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be dancing on the beach. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be hiking mountains. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be white. [SPEAKER_00]: What a rafting with my kids. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be... [SPEAKER_00]: active. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be sick

and debilitated somewhere. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I agree with you, I'm taking care of my bones, my brain, my heart, I'm exercising, even on the days where I'm in pajamas on meetings so 4 p.m. [SPEAKER_00]: Like last night I forced myself I went out to pickleball last night at 8 p.m. [SPEAKER_00]: and it was wonderful. [SPEAKER_00]: I probably killed the calories with the ice cream cone I had later, but [SPEAKER_00]: It was this beautiful moment of sitting on it, but that wasn't the point, right? [SPEAKER_00]: I was jumping around and chasing after the ball and people were watching us because we are competitive. [SPEAKER_00]: You want to talk about competitive. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I played my

little heart out. [SPEAKER_00]: It was a stress reliever. [SPEAKER_00]: It was good for my bones. [SPEAKER_00]: And then we went and sat on the swings next to Jenny's ice cream in Ohio. [SPEAKER_00]: And we just like chatted about the day. [SPEAKER_00]: Like is that not hashtag summer? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: This is perfect. [SPEAKER_00]: But I had to force myself because I wasn't PJs and slippers until about 4 p.m. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I love a Jackie day. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just going to tell you. [SPEAKER_01]: I love that. [SPEAKER_01]: I call it a decade and a day when I'm like that. [SPEAKER_01]: I love a Jackie day. [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's great. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so what's louder in

your life than it's ever been before? [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I mean, I [SPEAKER_01]: I am doing things that I never thought of. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I feel like I'm building more because I have a really great team. [SPEAKER_01]: And we are, I mean, we're like, we look that way and we're like, yes. [SPEAKER_01]: And we are actively and tentatively pulling people along with us. [SPEAKER_01]: We're like, I mean, we're like, come on, get on the train. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it feels so loud and so big. [SPEAKER_01]: And for the first time in my life, [SPEAKER_01]: I want to say two years, I feel like I have a team of my guys where we want to go

with this. [SPEAKER_01]: What do you want to do? [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm asking my team and I was like, hey, we're going to do this together. [SPEAKER_01]: Who's like rising like a box, not a pyramid. [SPEAKER_01]: And pulling dreams out of people. [SPEAKER_01]: That is that's so like literally pulling dreams and saying we can do anything. [SPEAKER_01]: And it feels fearless and awesome and exciting. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So the quote that sits on my work desk, I have a little kitchen, I have a little office in my kitchen, you know, so I like to cook and so that way I can work and then cook dreaming is a form of planning like that that isn't it

dreaming is a form of planning and [SPEAKER_00]: Teamwork does make the dream work like my team same thing. [SPEAKER_00]: We wrote down a couple of projects. [SPEAKER_00]: We were going to launch and we have launched every single one of them. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, when you have that teamer because that's the other thing people ask, you know, women are ask entrepreneurs or founders like, how do you do it? [SPEAKER_00]: And we would be lying if we didn't say we're surrounded by the most incredible teams because you don't do it yourself, right? [SPEAKER_00]: There's no one woman or one man show. [SPEAKER_00]: So many women feel invisible at this point in their life. [SPEAKER_00]: I actually did

TED Talk about the gender disparity and talked about invisible patients. [SPEAKER_00]: And now we've dismissed women so long and gate kept them. [SPEAKER_00]: But women in all fields and all verticals, especially at this point, they start to feel invisible. [SPEAKER_00]: I have friends who are dating. [SPEAKER_00]: They tell me they feel invisible at bars and restaurants. [SPEAKER_00]: In healthcare and media and culture, [SPEAKER_00]: What's one message you want to give to anyone feeling like they're disappearing? [SPEAKER_01]: First of all, they're not crazy. [SPEAKER_00]: I love that because that's what they say. [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I'm going crazy. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, don't let anybody gaslight you. [SPEAKER_01]: You're not crazy. [SPEAKER_01]: But I think [SPEAKER_01]: It's,

you know, when we talk about, as we get older, this is not the end of your life. [SPEAKER_01]: I think this is another beginning, and I think to really, to actively feel it, use it, all this confidence and all the work that you've done so far, use that to get to the next place. [SPEAKER_01]: And to round yourself with people who will affirm that for you versus tear you down. [SPEAKER_01]: And we're talking about teamwork, and that it is so, so important. [SPEAKER_01]: Speak your truth, let me get big, stop apologizing, and take up space. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I would tell someone, our age that, and I would also tell young women that, you know,

to take up space. [SPEAKER_01]: And this new place where you are, [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, that's the car accident. [SPEAKER_00]: Get rid of those detractors. [SPEAKER_00]: I remember watching this interview with Ellen Pompeo when she had negotiated one of the biggest contracts. [SPEAKER_00]: And she said some of the people closest to her were not the ones cheering loudly for her. [SPEAKER_00]: It was others. [SPEAKER_00]: And in that moment, she recognized when you have the courage to speak your truth, to ask for your value. [SPEAKER_00]: that not, and when you win, not everyone will applaud. [SPEAKER_00]: And to me, that's sad because when I, when I see another woman, another individual, another founder, winning, I'm like,

we are all winning. [SPEAKER_00]: There's not a limited amount of winning in this world. [SPEAKER_00]: Why are we gatekeeping it for us, other? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: It's madness to me, it's absolute madness, and it's an unnecessary stressor and another barrier to success for all of us. [SPEAKER_00]: It's absolutely crazy. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so you've said this before, the joy is your activism. [SPEAKER_00]: And I literally, you guys, it radiates off of her. [SPEAKER_00]: I wish you all could meet her. [SPEAKER_00]: In 10 years, what do you hope that joy has built for women wellness and aging? [SPEAKER_01]: that, and I love this question because I think right now we need and want a lot of joy.

[SPEAKER_01]: I hope that joy builds a culture that, you know, it's not something that we have just fight for. [SPEAKER_01]: It's, it's something that we celebrate, it's something that we collectively do [SPEAKER_01]: You know that other women have your back. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not this competition. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not this tearing down and I want I want women to make a space for joy to know, to realize how powerful it is, to like sit in your joy and that that is power and it is healing and it's healing for yourself and it's healing [SPEAKER_01]: just like hate and people being vindictive, joy is contagious. [SPEAKER_01]: So if we use joy as a contagion to let it go

out and it will come back to you. [SPEAKER_00]: I love that so much. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so what we've learned today is aging is not the enemy, but silence is joy is a tool for advocacy. [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't have to earn rest, visibility, or space. [SPEAKER_00]: You can take it for yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: Carla, I love hanging out with you. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much. [SPEAKER_00]: Can you please tell the listeners of Disruptor? [SPEAKER_00]: What you're up to? [SPEAKER_00]: Where we can find you? [SPEAKER_00]: How we can follow you? [SPEAKER_00]: What am I up to? [SPEAKER_01]: All right, so Halloween Bacon is in the can. [SPEAKER_01]: Harry Potter with us a baking chapter two in the

can. [SPEAKER_01]: I have a children's book coming up in October, October 14th, Carla and the tin can cake party. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and then I'm working on a baking book that I mentioned that I'm happily carrying the 15 pounds of it. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, July, our magazine, our second edition of our magazine, which you are featured just dropped July 1st. [SPEAKER_01]: So you can find that at curlahall.com, I'm on Instagram at Karla P. Hall on Facebook, Chef Karla Hall, and that I'll the one on the channel, I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, you woke me up on this rainy morning friend. [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't had my full cup of coffee. [SPEAKER_00]: And now I feel like I

have had a double espresso in a very good way. [SPEAKER_00]: So I will see you soon, my friend. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And thank you for everything. [SPEAKER_00]: I think today's episode showed us mid-life doesn't need to make over, in fact, it needs a microphone, Carla Hall just gave us all a master class and showing up fully, unapologetically aging, advocating, and laughing through the parts that never make it into those wellness ads. [SPEAKER_00]: If this conversation hit something real for you, send it to someone else who deserves to feel seen in this chapter of their life, thank you for joining us today for the Disruptor. [SPEAKER_00]: This is more than a conversation. [SPEAKER_00]: It's

a call. [SPEAKER_00]: A call to build something better. [SPEAKER_00]: Subscribe, share, and bring more disruptors into this room. [SPEAKER_00]: For unfiltered insights and bold ideas, go to Drsomee.com to sign up for the monthly disruptor newsletter. [SPEAKER_00]: And follow us on social at Drsomee. [SPEAKER_00]: We're not waiting for a seat at the table. [SPEAKER_00]: We're building our own table.