Menopause & Hormone Therapy Secrets Every Woman Over 40 Needs to Know w/ Melyssa Ford

[SPEAKER_02]: We live with so much shame, it's like we're conditioned to feel shame about every aspect of our existence. [SPEAKER_00]: It's exhausting! [SPEAKER_00]: When culture meets care, change travels faster, most of the Ford. [SPEAKER_00]: A veteran media personality and the host of Hotten Fathered, blends humor, candor, and real talk to make complex, often taboo topics feel human and shareable. [SPEAKER_00]: Where people can laugh and learn in the same breath. [SPEAKER_02]: I've been on hormone replacement therapy for years now helping me to regulate everything and feel a sense of sanity because I found myself at the intersection of grief and parameda pause. [SPEAKER_02]: My mom had just died. [SPEAKER_02]: I had no explanation as to what

was happening to me. [SPEAKER_02]: So when did you start going, this is not grief, this is something else. [SPEAKER_02]: Here's falling out. [SPEAKER_02]: Skin is creepy, midriff is at a control, and then [SPEAKER_02]: When you shared this health journey, did you feel judged? [SPEAKER_02]: Well, here's the thing we run out of F's to give. [SPEAKER_02]: If I have the power to use my platform to help women navigate surviving Perry menopause into menopause, then I'm going to do it. [SPEAKER_00]: Expert care for menopause and sexual health now just to click away. [SPEAKER_00]: Virtual care by her MD offers longer visits, personalized treatment plans, and trusted providers all from the comfort of home. [SPEAKER_00]: Learn more at

her MD.com. [SPEAKER_00]: This episode was sponsored by her MD. [SPEAKER_02]: I look so tan. [SPEAKER_02]: I went to a plant medicine retreat in the jungles of Mexico. [SPEAKER_02]: are you just smoking weed? [SPEAKER_02]: No, I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: That's, it's, that is an accurate, full stop statement. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we, we did told Venom. [SPEAKER_02]: We're, we're in just to like, top of smoke it. [SPEAKER_02]: You smoke it. [SPEAKER_00]: I am not doing told Venom. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it's, it's amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, someone's going to find a way to put it in a tampon and you can just shove it up your vagina. [SPEAKER_00]: So, no, it's here. [SPEAKER_00]: It works. [SPEAKER_00]: that I'm

smoking. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: So Iowa School would probably be your thing because it's like something that you drink. [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, you know, it's like it's pulved with the pulverized root of a yes drinking. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm into putting it in a pretty glass and I'm a sucker for you. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, yeah, I think in about five minutes after ingesting it, you won't give a shit about that glass. [SPEAKER_02]: You'll just be like, your soul will be just like, you know, just having conversations with you, you know, ancestors will be talking to you and stuff like that. [SPEAKER_02]: We wondered why you did this. [SPEAKER_02]: Eight hours later, you'll know exactly why you did it. [SPEAKER_02]:

But in the moment, it's jarring. [SPEAKER_02]: Did you, who did you go with? [SPEAKER_02]: So I did my first hot and bothered retreat, and so I invited a group of girlfriends, and it was just it was it was it was life altering. [SPEAKER_02]: I will say that for everybody involved. [SPEAKER_00]: You have me very curious, but I have to come on one of my treats. [SPEAKER_02]: I might have to watch funny that you say that because I had my videographer come so that we could create the proof of concept so that I could send that to hotels and resorts around the world featuring, you know, like saying, hey, invite us hot and bothered, we would

love to do wellness retreats at your finest ablishment. [SPEAKER_00]: I am all about the wellness retreats. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I'm quite into the venom yet, but I hear you. [SPEAKER_02]: And some people, for some people it's necessary, or it's something that they want to do because they want to gain a sense of clarity. [SPEAKER_02]: They need some, they need to develop an awareness around the concept of forgiveness. [SPEAKER_02]: not just forgiveness for people who have wrong them or harm them, including parents, but also for themselves. [SPEAKER_02]: Everybody went left with feeling this sense of lightness, you know, a burden lifted from their shoulders and feeling like they could move through relationships that had

been [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, just, like, fraught with tension in a different way. [SPEAKER_00]: So it sounds like trauma, like, oh, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So a PTSD, you know, people will do EMDR therapy and sometimes add ketamine or other drugs along with it to be able to let go of the negative feelings associated with the memories. [SPEAKER_00]: You still have the memories. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Right, because they make you who you are, but then not the negative feelings that are making you stuck or holding you back. [SPEAKER_02]: There's something about going away and you being in a completely different setting and maybe you're with a completely different group of people than you would have normally found

yourselves with. [SPEAKER_02]: And then, you know, it's almost like the social contract once you enter the resort or the retreat is [SPEAKER_02]: You know, leave your emotional bags at the door and we all came here to be vulnerable. [SPEAKER_02]: So let's let's honor that and that is what everybody did. [SPEAKER_02]: We honored our sense of vulnerability and trust to reveal very, very personal things about ourselves and through that, you know, women, we just, we're just so good at that, you know, like being holding each other with care. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: And [SPEAKER_02]: Um, and so it's just we going there for the purpose of doing these ceremonies with indigenous people, you know, I mean, some

people do this and they're like cycle a lot. [SPEAKER_02]: It's like a delic tourists. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: But then other people do this because they really are looking for something, you know, like a higher calling or some kind of like, you know, sign from the universe or God or whatever the case is and they're just not getting it in their, you know, regular homegrown environment that they need that shock to the system to be somewhere else. [SPEAKER_02]: or to let go of whatever's holding them back here. [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly, exactly. [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_02]: Because a lot of times, the things that kind of are holding us back, are the things that we have to deal with

in our everyday life. [SPEAKER_00]: No, that's true. [SPEAKER_00]: The things the must do is versus what you want to do, and that's my dream to just wake up every day, and to just my time is whatever I want to do. [SPEAKER_00]: I was hoping to get there by 50. [SPEAKER_00]: Same. [SPEAKER_00]: Same. [SPEAKER_02]: But what I also realized about women is that we carry an enormous amount of guilt. [SPEAKER_02]: It's the strangest emotion that we feel because we carry around the burden of guilt of things that don't even belong to us. [SPEAKER_02]: We carry around the burden of guilt of feeling like self-care is indulgence, especially when we are caretakers. [SPEAKER_02]: If we are parents,

[SPEAKER_02]: or if we're at that age, we're now we're caring for children, but we're also caring for elderly parents or elderly family members. [SPEAKER_02]: We're like, we're really stuck in the middle. [SPEAKER_02]: So the minute that we want to do something for ourselves, we feel this inordinate amount of guilt. [SPEAKER_02]: And it's such a... [SPEAKER_02]: It's such a heavy, heavy weight to bear and I just was staring at all my girlfriends like looking at them and just first while marveling at how strong and brave and courageous they are to come here and just reveal all this information about themselves with basically total strangers and but then also feel that sense of [SPEAKER_02]: I deserve, I

deserve to have a sense of peace. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I deserve that. [SPEAKER_02]: And I want to work towards it. [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm open to somebody pointing me in the right direction because I haven't figured it out for myself kind of thing. [SPEAKER_00]: I hear though, it starts happening in Maniposa, at least to Cranda, at least some of Scowni, right? [SPEAKER_00]: It's like that's why you stop giving less F's. [SPEAKER_00]: And you start actually taking the time to, [SPEAKER_00]: care for yourself and taking that moment, but you're right, it is when life hits you in the face with, okay, maybe I'm moving my kids out, but I'm still responsible for them, and now I'm taking

care of aging parents, and maybe my sex life is not where it used to be, and my hormones are all over the place, but I've heard that our empathy centers improve in our brain, and we are emotional regulation gets better, and so I hear after the chaos, [SPEAKER_00]: comes the calm. [SPEAKER_00]: So hopefully maybe you and I eventually on the other side of this, we'll get there. [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I mean, we've talked about hormone replacement therapy and I've been on hormone replacement therapy for years now. [SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like I credit that with really helping me to regulate everything and feel like a sense of, um, [SPEAKER_02]: a sanity, because I remember the first

couple of years where I was, I found myself at the intersection of grief and, and Perry menopause. [SPEAKER_02]: My mom had just died. [SPEAKER_02]: I had no explanation as to what was happening to me. [SPEAKER_02]: So I had to navigate this, you know, this, this, this immeasurable grief. [SPEAKER_02]: My universe had been rocked. [SPEAKER_02]: My, my tether to the earth was gone. [SPEAKER_02]: And then I also have Perry menopause. [SPEAKER_02]: Girl, I don't know how I'm here. [SPEAKER_02]: But I will say the doctor, Mrs. Sarah woman. [SPEAKER_02]: That's why that's the thing, but it, you know, there's also that statistic that the high level. [SPEAKER_00]: So how old were you when this was going on?

[SPEAKER_02]: 43. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: 43. [SPEAKER_00]: 44 is around that, around that area of 2020. [SPEAKER_00]: And so was your mom's passing sudden or was it after a long illness where you were taking care of her? [SPEAKER_02]: No, it wasn't sudden, but it wasn't lengthy. [SPEAKER_02]: It was, um, she had a very rare form of cancer. [SPEAKER_02]: It was cancer of the appendix. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, first of all, what the, what do we need an appendix for? [SPEAKER_02]: What does it do other than rupture and almost kill us? [SPEAKER_02]: There's that. [SPEAKER_02]: And then you can develop cancer of the appendix. [SPEAKER_02]: No doctor really even thinks of it. [SPEAKER_02]: So it can hide

and lay in weight. [SPEAKER_02]: It's so treacherous and insidious. [SPEAKER_00]: And then it was a women that presents so vaguely. [SPEAKER_00]: there. [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_00]: No, Stuart Scott died of. [SPEAKER_00]: Remember the ESPN reporter and that was a friend. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I remember watching his speech after he got ill and actually showed it to my kids. [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember saying to my husband, [SPEAKER_00]: who happens to be a medical oncologist said, what the fuck do we need to appendix for? [SPEAKER_00]: And why does somebody die from it? [SPEAKER_00]: It's a rudimentary organ we really don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: Seriously, and that's so true. [SPEAKER_02]: So what it did is it lay in weight and it

metastasize until it decimated my mom's colon and bowel. [SPEAKER_02]: And there was [SPEAKER_02]: the doctors did as much as they could. [SPEAKER_02]: She lived in Canada. [SPEAKER_02]: So I have full faith in our, you know, our medical establishment there that they did everything that they could. [SPEAKER_02]: But, you know, there was just nothing that could be done. [SPEAKER_02]: And then my mom, the brave, you know, pragmatist that she is, she elected to schedule her passing through medical assistance in dying. [SPEAKER_02]: And that happened on May 19th, 2020. [SPEAKER_02]: So that was another add on to the mom dying thing. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, she also chose the day. [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm literally counting down the days. [SPEAKER_02]:

Like, mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: I had no idea. [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even know. [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even know. [SPEAKER_00]: What is this? [SPEAKER_00]: So you're grieving. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, obviously going through these immense emotional swings. [SPEAKER_00]: And then how does it? [SPEAKER_00]: Because I remember you saying something to me and passing when we saw each other at Oprah, you were like, girl, my journey. [SPEAKER_00]: And so obviously I had no idea about that in the whole backstory, but then what was happening did you think you were just grieving because nobody got the playbook on Perry Menopause and Menopause, including the board certified OBGYN. [SPEAKER_00]: I had to get mine later. [SPEAKER_00]: So when did you start going, this

is not grief. [SPEAKER_00]: This is something else. [SPEAKER_00]: It was, I would say, [SPEAKER_02]: Like, early 2021, so maybe about April, May was when I started to, I was in the shower and I was washing my hair and my hair was falling out in clumps. [SPEAKER_02]: I could literally feel strands of hair like just like, you know, coming out of my scalp. [SPEAKER_02]: It's a gnarly feeling. [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just, it's not normal how much hair was in my hands. [SPEAKER_02]: I said, what the hell is happening? [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: And then, you know, I've always been able to, you know, die and exercise my way back into whatever shape. [SPEAKER_02]: If sometimes I go

on a vacation and get a little crazy. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, but this mid-driven situation, I was like, who did, who is this? [SPEAKER_02]: What happened? [SPEAKER_02]: Especially since I'm like, you know, known for like my little tiny waist, it was gone. [SPEAKER_00]: And I couldn't hear out in the public. [SPEAKER_00]: Right, the public eye. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't privately get to go through parry menopause of menopause. [SPEAKER_02]: So you're out there. [SPEAKER_02]: And so, you know, I've always had, you know, exceptionally nice skin, you know, thanks mom's dad. [SPEAKER_02]: Just a little, just a little bit. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, when you walk into a room, I was like, there she is. [SPEAKER_02]: She's so pretty.

[SPEAKER_02]: And I felt like the crypt keeper, like my skin felt so like creepy. [SPEAKER_02]: And so, hair is falling out, skin is creepy, midriff is out of control, and then the sleep disruptions happened. [SPEAKER_02]: And when I say, I've never had a hot flash. [SPEAKER_02]: I've only had the night sweats. [SPEAKER_02]: And I honestly, I would venture to say, they're worse. [SPEAKER_02]: Because these, this is the way that mine went. [SPEAKER_02]: I would wake up six to seven times a night. [SPEAKER_02]: And I would wake up like in a full-blown anxiety attack like, [SPEAKER_02]: And you know what song was on repeat in my brain? [SPEAKER_00]: It's getting hot in here. [SPEAKER_02]: No, even

though I was sweating through the mattress, it was time keeps on slipping, slipping into the future. [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, oh my god! [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm alone because I'm single with no children. [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm fighting this battle all by myself, like in the dark. [SPEAKER_02]: What is going on? [SPEAKER_02]: So did you have the palpitations, too? [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, heart palpitations is what? [SPEAKER_02]: They hold full-blown anxiety attacks in the middle of the night. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: But that's how my hot flashes were, too. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think Oprah's were that way, too. [SPEAKER_00]: That's why she saw cardiologists. [SPEAKER_00]: But Ford certified OB-GYN had no idea. [SPEAKER_00]: But then there was also a

link. [SPEAKER_00]: So it wasn't this mild feeling of flushing that they described in the textbooks? [SPEAKER_02]: who ever did that need to be tarred and feathered, okay? [SPEAKER_02]: Like, who are you that would say, how dare you? [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, my old flushing, my hair is soaked, and I feel like I'm having a heart attack. [SPEAKER_02]: But that wasn't the only thing. [SPEAKER_02]: I was experiencing, like, joint pain. [SPEAKER_02]: was like, I felt like the 10 man in your 40s. [SPEAKER_02]: In my 40s, I felt like, and I'm listen, I have done every form of exercise that I'm a boxing, Muita, like you name it. [SPEAKER_02]: I've done it. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm super active. [SPEAKER_02]:

And I was like the 10 man, like I would go to a Pilates class and come home after you after. [SPEAKER_02]: struggling my way through sleep for the night. [SPEAKER_02]: And I would sleep for six hours. [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, this is not quality of life. [SPEAKER_02]: No. [SPEAKER_02]: But then the other thing is besides the joint pain, it was it literally felt like the meat was falling off the bone. [SPEAKER_02]: Like that's what it felt. [SPEAKER_02]: It felt like my muscles were disartulating from the bone. [SPEAKER_02]: I said, what, it just this incredible body aching. [SPEAKER_00]: They're co-premia. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, there's a name for it. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause. [SPEAKER_00]: Very sexy

words describe like, lasso bone density, horror, loss of muscle mass, and then, [SPEAKER_00]: redistribution, what you're describing that menopot, you know, where we used to, like why you used to put on weight, it used to go to breast and hip, so you're like, okay, whatever, like a curvy, but now it goes to the middle and that's that redistribution of fat. [SPEAKER_00]: And so women will say, okay, the scale's not changing, but the way my pants fit are, or they'll like grab it and [SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's menopause, but there are things we can do about it. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, everybody was completely foreign to you at this point. [SPEAKER_02]: And that's a thing that I know that

I'm sure that you hear in your practice all the time. [SPEAKER_02]: The most commonly used phrase is, Doc, I don't feel like myself. [SPEAKER_02]: Or I don't recognize myself. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't recognize myself. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't feel like myself. [SPEAKER_02]: That is the accuracy because you look in the mirror and you just are having a hard time processing. [SPEAKER_02]: Who is this person looking back at me? [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just, and I'll say, hair loss, let's talk about that for a second, because in medical school and residency, other than, [SPEAKER_00]: with cancer patients we talk about it a lot because there's a lot of sensitivity about losing your hair and now there's cooling caps

and all these interventions that we're finally doing because we're finally appreciating that people want to talk about yes their cancer but also what happens in the aftermath but for a lot of women loss of hair particularly in paraman upon it pause and menopause is a huge disservice to their self-confidence. [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely [SPEAKER_00]: Because they love their hair. [SPEAKER_00]: For me, like being a Pakistani Tush Indian girl who is used to having very thick hair, you know, and you talk about hair less and people like, what are you talking about? [SPEAKER_00]: You still have so much hair. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, you have no idea what my hair used to look like. [SPEAKER_00]: And then when you're

washing your hair and yes, it's coming out. [SPEAKER_00]: It is like what is going on? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And you're like, is this stress? [SPEAKER_00]: Is this hormones? [SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, so many people would say to me, [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even want to look in the mirror because I don't recognize who's looking back at me. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I, there was a point in time and my whole, I introduced myself to the world by way of my image and my, my, my sexuality. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I started off as a video music model and then I became like a calendar pinup girl and whatnot. [SPEAKER_02]: Those are like the very early, early days of, of

my career. [SPEAKER_02]: And so, you know, it's, [SPEAKER_02]: Even though in your mind, you graduate from being that version of yourself. [SPEAKER_02]: There's still this expectation for me to maintain that outward appearance. [SPEAKER_02]: And so the additional criticism that I would get like the audacity, that I have to age, and not look the same way that I did when I was 25 years old, coupled with the fact that I'm actually seeing it happen in real time and having to come to terms with it. [SPEAKER_02]: It's something that's already difficult for women to adjust to, but then to, [SPEAKER_02]: You know, just have that coupled with the low libido and all of the things that just

just add to your idea of what your femininity represents is how your femininity is represented, you know. [SPEAKER_00]: Know you definitely have this sexual sense of self for sure as a woman, both outwardly someone and identify it with their breasts, their hips, you know, their hair, whatever it is that they love about themselves. [SPEAKER_00]: But there's also that inner sexual identity that you have. [SPEAKER_00]: And you, I was going to ask you. [SPEAKER_00]: I said, you have said, you know, I was known as a sex symbol, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Basically, known for your appearance. [SPEAKER_00]: And then that's where I was going to go next. [SPEAKER_00]: But see, you already beat me to it. [SPEAKER_00]: You

were like, I was like, well, what is symptoms? [SPEAKER_00]: Did you experience? [SPEAKER_00]: And what are you willing to share, sexually, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Because we know there's a lot of sexual health problems that women can experience. [SPEAKER_00]: But nobody wants to go there, particularly those in the public, [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, screw that. [SPEAKER_02]: Honey, I was dead from the neck down. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, like I couldn't feel a thing like hello are these things on like come in I don't have died like seriously. [SPEAKER_02]: I was in peace. [SPEAKER_02]: I think you might make the brown girl blush in my happened today No, but I just it was such a it was such a jarring feeling to

just go from being [SPEAKER_02]: member being like in my late 20s and early 30s. [SPEAKER_02]: And what if a biological clock if you knew like you can like assess like what it actually felt like it just feels like being horny all the time and you will sleep with anything kind of sort of you know. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, [SPEAKER_02]: within reason, but even then he makes some stupid mistakes because you know God makes a stupid in order for us to procreate them I'm convinced because when we when the veil lifts and suddenly we're not like, you know Driven by like all of this like activity to have this desire and like you know this

like you know [SPEAKER_02]: Physiological need to agree, you know that's stupid shit when the veil lives and suddenly we have like, you know our senses about us clarity, we're like [SPEAKER_02]: What was I thinking? [SPEAKER_02]: Like ill. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: Listen. [SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you something. [SPEAKER_02]: Whenever guys like you're going to die alone with a house full of cats and like don't threaten me with a good time. [SPEAKER_02]: Don't threaten me with a good time because it means cats care. [SPEAKER_00]: No, just say they sell vibrators at Target now. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's good. [SPEAKER_02]: And that's it. [SPEAKER_02]: Listen, my circle of four. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, they should get shipped to

the house now, exactly. [SPEAKER_02]: Good, circle of girlfriends. [SPEAKER_02]: I live, you know, New York, New Jersey, so I've got all the restaurants. [SPEAKER_02]: I travel, I make a lot of money. [SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, so decrease the beta. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, decrease the beta. [SPEAKER_00]: Decrease desire. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Right. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what decreased libido is. [SPEAKER_00]: It's the elegant word for it. [SPEAKER_00]: Any sexual pain, vaginal and dryness? [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: There's that. [SPEAKER_02]: So I know that the term is not vaginal atrophy. [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like you need to correct me. [SPEAKER_00]: That's a mean word now. [SPEAKER_00]: I know it's. [SPEAKER_00]: So we were talking woke word exactly. [SPEAKER_02]: So we were

talking about how in city is the vocabulary is in [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you notice how quickly impotence got thrown away because no man wanted to be impotent. [SPEAKER_00]: So we call it very good elegantly call it E.D. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So for women, yes, low libido, but atrophy is one of those that needs to go. [SPEAKER_00]: So GSM, GNado, urinary syndrome of menopause. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Which is... [SPEAKER_00]: So it's accurate. [SPEAKER_00]: That's because there's things going on with the vagina, the bladder, the urethra. [SPEAKER_00]: So yes, but leads to sexual pain. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, sexual and dryness leads to for some women frequent vaginal infections. [SPEAKER_00]: You're under tracked infections. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you're like check check.

[SPEAKER_00]: You are just like a check box of all. [SPEAKER_02]: Well, see, I didn't get, I haven't graduated to the UTIs, which a lot of women do experience with frequency. [SPEAKER_02]: But you're on hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_02]: I am on, and I credit that. [SPEAKER_02]: I credit that with why I feel so balanced. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, we've had the conversation about how insidious that study, that study, that came out back in 1992 was, and what it did to women. [SPEAKER_02]: The WWE try for trying to out loud, [SPEAKER_02]: The effects that that still has on people on women and their thoughts that no HRT causes cancer. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, oh my God. [SPEAKER_00]:

Well, when you and I chatted, I was so excited because 1.8% of eligible women were on hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know what we're up to now with all this menopause talk? [SPEAKER_00]: Right. [SPEAKER_00]: Four percent. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: But 96% of women are still missing out on feeling better on suffering, like women have a choice. [SPEAKER_00]: And I firmly believe in choice and bodily autonomy either way, but based on evidence, data, and facts, not based on myth. [SPEAKER_00]: And the problem is that that was sensationalized and the negative effects of hormone therapy [SPEAKER_00]: were way overstated, and we kind of everything beneficial decreased mortality, decreased risk of breast cancer, decreased risk of dying from

breast cancer, all in the estrogen only arm swept under the rug. [SPEAKER_02]: It was the data, the data was so wildly misinterpreted, I mean, I would go so far as misreported. [SPEAKER_02]: And misreported, I would go so far as to say that it was one of the biggest [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know another word is media campaign, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's what. [SPEAKER_02]: No, it was a calamity. [SPEAKER_02]: That's what it was because there was for decades. [SPEAKER_02]: There was women on hormone replacement therapy. [SPEAKER_02]: Doctors had assessed that it was that it was perfectly healthy to give women estrogen. [SPEAKER_02]: They learned that you had to have progesterone as well as estrogen. [SPEAKER_02]: Otherwise,

you ran the risk of if you have a uterus. [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: So, [SPEAKER_02]: for a couple of decades, women were operate just fine on hormone replacement therapy through, I think it was like 60s, 70s, 80s, all the way into the early 90s and the 90s and the 90s, like July 1992, that was D-Day. [SPEAKER_02]: That's when that study came out. [SPEAKER_02]: He said, tooth 2002. [SPEAKER_02]: No, it was 1992. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I can't remember. [SPEAKER_00]: I just remember being called down to a room and it was an emergency and we had to say no more hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to learn about hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not

going to prescribe hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: And so women stop taking it. [SPEAKER_02]: No, it wasn't like they stopped taking it. [SPEAKER_02]: It was removed from, they were, they had no options. [SPEAKER_02]: It was, it was taken from them. [SPEAKER_02]: So all of these women that had been on hormone replacement therapy suddenly, it was no longer available to them. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And you had skyrocketed antidepressants. [SPEAKER_00]: And I prescribe them. [SPEAKER_00]: People need them. [SPEAKER_00]: Angelidics. [SPEAKER_00]: sleep medications because women still had all the symptoms, but you had taken the very medication, the very hormone that was helping them away from them. [SPEAKER_00]: And it happened like this overnight. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I know. [SPEAKER_02]: I

know. [SPEAKER_02]: And it's it was it's so insidious because you know, I have been fortunate enough [SPEAKER_02]: They've been very capable, but if they didn't know the answer to something, guess what they said? [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know the answer to that, Melissa. [SPEAKER_02]: Not trying to gaslight me into thinking, oh, all of that is just in your head to mask the fact that they don't have the answers, because unfortunately, quite a few doctors have like some God complex. [SPEAKER_02]: This is some ego issues, and what not, I don't know, any gestures, that way. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, no, for real. [SPEAKER_00]: But so you weren't dismissed. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so you know that's a very different experience. [SPEAKER_00]:

I do know most women. [SPEAKER_00]: I do know particularly a minority woman, because you are much more likely to get dismissed as a woman and a minority woman. [SPEAKER_00]: You are less likely to be offered hormone therapy as a minority woman. [SPEAKER_00]: So that's very interesting. [SPEAKER_00]: So right away, you were had the hormone discussion, and you were offered the hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my PCP was a beautiful black woman and a name was Dr. Noel Reed. [SPEAKER_02]: This is back in California. [SPEAKER_02]: And my gynecologist, it was actually a white man. [SPEAKER_02]: And he was so, like, he had such a great sense of humor. [SPEAKER_02]: But he was also, you know, instantly when

I started talking about doc, these are the symptoms. [SPEAKER_02]: He was like, oh, you're going through parry menopause. [SPEAKER_02]: Let me check your hormone levels and he went through the whole thing. [SPEAKER_02]: And for me, I wasn't one of those women who tested normal. [SPEAKER_02]: It was evident by way of looking at my sex hormones. [SPEAKER_02]: They had all of them had rapidly like drop like I swear like jumped off a cliff. [SPEAKER_02]: So it was very easy for him to say I'm going to give you progesterone supplements and I'm going to give you an Estadale Patch. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: And so that started my journey of understanding hormone replacement therapy, but he also was

very, he didn't shoot me out of his office. [SPEAKER_02]: I came with a list of questions. [SPEAKER_02]: That's why I, you know, I started my podcast because I wanted to help women understand how to advocate for yourself. [SPEAKER_02]: When you go to your doctor's office, you walk in with a list of questions. [SPEAKER_02]: And if you don't know what questions to ask, [SPEAKER_02]: Ask your friends, or ask your friends who have doctors, ask Google some question. [SPEAKER_02]: What do I ask my gynaecologist when I go to the doctor? [SPEAKER_02]: What do I ask my hormone specialist? [SPEAKER_02]: What do I ask? [SPEAKER_02]: So you go in with some questions and if they don't answer them,

then you start looking for somebody who's going to answer those questions for you. [SPEAKER_00]: And then eventually in your journey, did you ever add any testosterone therapy since you were struggling with Lebedo and noticing the difference in muscle? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and what happened when you started testosterone therapy? [SPEAKER_02]: That came later, and that was a godsend. [SPEAKER_02]: Suddenly, the joint pain, [SPEAKER_02]: had alleviated. [SPEAKER_02]: Suddenly, it didn't feel like the meat was falling off the bone anymore. [SPEAKER_02]: Suddenly, I had the energy to go through my day without drinking a million cups of coffee and chasing it, you know, chasing an Adderall. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, it's the energy, the muscle mass. [SPEAKER_02]: The muscle mass, it

worked out again and done it exercise, menopot started to disappear. [SPEAKER_02]: I started to see like, you know, like, little, [SPEAKER_02]: one pack to pack maybe. [SPEAKER_02]: But my efforts weren't going. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, we're just in my efforts in the gym. [SPEAKER_02]: They were visible. [SPEAKER_00]: What about any mental? [SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of women when I put a back on testosterone, they will say I just felt like myself again. [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of women will say that's the estrogen, but a lot of women will say that testosterone just gave them an overall sense of well-being. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Do you've noticed that? [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: It gives you a little

bit more sharpness. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, where the edges inside your brain started to feel like they were kind of getting sanded down. [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_02]: and rounded out and you were just kind of like losing your edge and just kind of felt like you just didn't care if you look like a janitor, sorry to, you know, janitors, but you know what I'm saying? [SPEAKER_02]: Like five days out of a week suddenly you suddenly you kind of cared a little bit more. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, you know, I about your presentation for yourself, for nobody else but yourself. [SPEAKER_02]: But you just, you started to feel the edge back and you started [SPEAKER_02]: So the apathy

goes away, exactly. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, apathy is another insidious part of this whole process that you feel like you have to come to terms with that that's your new normal. [SPEAKER_02]: And it's not your new normal, the thing that I've realized through this journey and watching my girlfriends who are thriving for, you know, for their own reasons is that [SPEAKER_02]: The best years are really in front of you, and these women are just incredible vibrant, like extraordinary beings. [SPEAKER_02]: So that vibrancy does not leave us once this comes. [SPEAKER_02]: It's just, we just have to figure it out. [SPEAKER_02]: We just have to pivot. [SPEAKER_00]: We have to reframe it because we're out living our ovaries.

[SPEAKER_00]: So all we're doing is we're not putting a foreign substance into your body. [SPEAKER_00]: We're just replacing your hormones because women didn't use to live as long as we do. [SPEAKER_00]: And the problem right now is that we are living long, but we're living longer and much poor health. [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I talk to him and I always tell them I want them to flip the script and don't ask me, I mean, you can ask me what's going to happen if I take hormones, but I think the more important question is, what happens if I don't? [SPEAKER_00]: And that's increased risk of dementia and fracture and cardiovascular risk. [SPEAKER_00]: You know hormones are

such a key component if you are a candidate of longevity because you just don't want to live longer, but like you're describing you want to thrive. [SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you this, my sister has had two hip replacements and she now is experiencing a degenerative spinal condition. [SPEAKER_02]: 57. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: So it's like we're, but there's like a nine year age difference between us. [SPEAKER_02]: And she's never been on hormone replacement therapy. [SPEAKER_02]: Now I'm not a doctor. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_02]: But I often times think to myself would the trajectory of her ailing health. [SPEAKER_02]: have been altered if she had gotten on hormone replacement therapy in her early mid or late

40s. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, nobody knows, but it is a possibility. [SPEAKER_02]: But what that also did was that encouraged me to go for my first dexus scan. [SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you something. [SPEAKER_02]: I do not wait for the specific ages of screening. [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, no. [SPEAKER_02]: I refuse. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm 48. [SPEAKER_02]: They say you're supposed to go for your first [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I want my mouth. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's a very smart thing because we know Beaulnost starts to occur in the Perry menopausal years. [SPEAKER_00]: And the majority of occurs in the first couple of years of menopause. [SPEAKER_00]: But I had a patient the other day who was like, well,

why aren't you ordering one? [SPEAKER_00]: I said I can certainly order one for you. [SPEAKER_00]: But insurance is not going to cover it. [SPEAKER_00]: until you're 65, unless you've got certain risk factors. [SPEAKER_00]: And so the U.S. preventative task force sends the, you know, puts lines and sand for certain ages, for screening tools, but to make it more cost effective for the masses. [SPEAKER_00]: Medicine in this country is not curated for Melissa for so me. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not made for individuals. [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're lucky enough, I mean, I wish these things were covered. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and I do have patients who say, well, I'm just going to pay for it out of pocket.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, you should. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Because this is when you're going to start losing bone density. [SPEAKER_00]: This is when you're going to start losing bone mass and you should get a Texas scan now. [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, that crazy year when they were trying to push mammograms to 50? [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, uh, no, we're, I'm diagnosing people in their 30s. [SPEAKER_00]: What are you thinking? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of women don't do self-breast exams and guess what? [SPEAKER_00]: You don't find the small stuff on clinical breast exams. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, what are we doing? [SPEAKER_00]: Trying to save money. [SPEAKER_00]: Right. [SPEAKER_02]: Not doing right by

people. [SPEAKER_02]: It's horrifying. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I've been getting, I've been getting, doing breast exams, [SPEAKER_02]: And if you don't know how to do it, you know, just get your PCP or your kind of college just to help you do it and you Google it, it's all over the place. [SPEAKER_02]: But I've been getting mammogram since I was 40 years old. [SPEAKER_02]: I am diligent with that. [SPEAKER_02]: And I am so shocked at how many of my girlfriends who are covered by insurance and over the age of 40 have never had one. [SPEAKER_02]: I said, oh, my gosh. [SPEAKER_02]: What do you, I'm scared of the radiation. [SPEAKER_02]: I said you put a phone to

your head every day. [SPEAKER_02]: There's more radiation in a banana. [SPEAKER_02]: What do you talk about? [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying? [SPEAKER_02]: But what you're saying? [SPEAKER_02]: And me being a Canadian and our universal healthcare system, I have had the benefit of knowing what socialism as it relates to a universal healthcare system actually looks like it's like a dirty word in this country. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like it basically means that everybody gets treated. [SPEAKER_02]: So, but I have paid out a pocket for a lot of things because I need to know what my baseline is. [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I need to know for myself, so that I know what to do from that point. [SPEAKER_02]:

And you know what my dexoset scan said? [SPEAKER_02]: That's your PDF? [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it did. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it did, so you know what that does. [SPEAKER_02]: That lets me know what I now need to eat more of. [SPEAKER_02]: That lets me know that I need to be very diligent about my calcium supplements. [SPEAKER_02]: That's what this teaches you. [SPEAKER_00]: It lets you see a vitamin D, weight bearing exercise, getting your protein in. [SPEAKER_00]: Yep. [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. [SPEAKER_00]: And then your hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_02]: And your hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_02]: But also the other thing that I don't think is discussed in hormone therapy is vaginal estrogen suppositories as well. [SPEAKER_02]: That's never discussed. [SPEAKER_02]: I need that

talked about because [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, you want doctors to talk about the vagina? [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, I do. [SPEAKER_00]: Shocking. [SPEAKER_00]: I know, it's a scary word. [SPEAKER_00]: But China. [SPEAKER_00]: Problem is, you know, for a very long time, a black box warning had been on these products, right? [SPEAKER_02]: I know, I saw something today that said something about the black box warning coming off. [SPEAKER_00]: There was a huge meeting with all of these experts. [SPEAKER_00]: Speak. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, we're listening to experts. [SPEAKER_00]: Experts during experts. [SPEAKER_00]: Experts. [SPEAKER_00]: Administration. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, these are, these are, these are doctor experts who, politically, you know, will take care of anybody. [SPEAKER_00]: But these are doctor experts who

are advocates for women. [SPEAKER_00]: who literally what I loved because it is so obvious the black box warning needs to come off because there's never been a singular study ever to show that vaginal hormones can cause stroke, dementia, heart attack, endometrial cancer, not one singular study, right? [SPEAKER_00]: They took the information from a study that was done on systemic other hormones, estrogen and progesterone, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And or progestin. [SPEAKER_00]: and apply it. [SPEAKER_00]: Just said, okay, well, of course, then it applies to a localized hormone product. [SPEAKER_00]: So never does any of the things that the warning said. [SPEAKER_00]: And we've actually shown that the warning has done more harm, but because people won't prescribe

it. [SPEAKER_00]: doctors won't talk about it. [SPEAKER_00]: Women don't want to ask for it. [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's why, and then we're spending millions of dollars on preventable hospital admissions for urinary tract infections that are complicated because older women tend to get them. [SPEAKER_00]: You're a sepsis and, you know, the best is when they say, well, we don't treat menopause because she's not going to die from it. [SPEAKER_00]: Guess what? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you [SPEAKER_00]: you can die from your ocepsis. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so preventable deaths. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's so sad that we're not having these discussions. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think the other misnomer is that women assume, well, I have to be sexually active to be

on it. [SPEAKER_00]: No, you don't. [SPEAKER_00]: No, you don't, not at all. [SPEAKER_00]: No, we're trying to prevent vaginal infections. [SPEAKER_00]: We're trying to make you feel comfortable if you're cycling or if you're wearing tight clothing or if you're riding a horse or just in general, we're trying to prevent bladder infections. [SPEAKER_00]: So you don't, that is the biggest myth. [SPEAKER_00]: You do not have to be sexually active to want vaginal hormone therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: It's that you're right. [SPEAKER_02]: It is a misnomer because [SPEAKER_02]: you know, I like I said, you know, the whole dead from the neck down kind of thing. [SPEAKER_02]: And also these dating streets there are raging dumpster fires. [SPEAKER_02]: So

I'm, you know, I really like myself these days. [SPEAKER_02]: So I don't want you to share this. [SPEAKER_00]: This, this health journey. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And you are in the public eye. [SPEAKER_00]: And you are also self-proclaimed single and out there. [SPEAKER_00]: Did you feel judged? [SPEAKER_02]: Well, here's the thing you said in the beginning is that we run out of F's to give right and like I so did I like if you don't like what I'm saying that you could like close your ears turn around go jump off cliff. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't care. [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm going to keep on talking about this because what I what I went through. [SPEAKER_02]: I was like,

if I have the power to use my ability as an order and my platform, to help women navigate this, the treacherous landscape of surviving Perry menopause into menopause, then I'm going to do it. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not here for the male gaze anymore. [SPEAKER_02]: Like, that's another thing. [SPEAKER_02]: And you know, and you want to, I'm here for that. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not here for it anymore, because, because that's where you said you started. [SPEAKER_02]: Not anymore no because they're they're not my they're not my demo I mean men will just toss you aside for like the newest on genu and that's fine You should absolutely do that you know what I'm saying. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't blame

you for that I'm still hot, but I but my word my word. [SPEAKER_02]: There's no longer in sconst in [SPEAKER_02]: You know, in looking for mail approval and validation, you know, that is a that is a young girls game and a young girls world and I'm really really happy to have been released from feeling like that needs to be any part of who I am and [SPEAKER_02]: You know who's doing it so well? [SPEAKER_02]: Hallyberry. [SPEAKER_02]: Hallyberry is doing it so well. [SPEAKER_02]: And she's, I know that her and I got to sit down with girl. [SPEAKER_02]: We got to sit down with her because it's just like, she was the sex symbol as well

on a much larger level. [SPEAKER_02]: I clearly am not saying, I'm not the same level as Hallyberry, but she was a sex symbol as well. [SPEAKER_02]: But... [SPEAKER_02]: Physiologically, biologically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, she went through all of these changes without any information as to what's going on with her. [SPEAKER_02]: She had to navigate them on her own, and she probably felt the exact same way that I did the sense of like internal conflict of who the world recognizes you and knows you as and who you really, really actually want to lean into being and realizing that, wait, I'm not the only woman going through this, wait, millions of women [SPEAKER_02]: what? [SPEAKER_02]: We are in

a constant state of rage. [SPEAKER_02]: And I see exactly why she did what she did. [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like our trajectory was happening at the exact same time. [SPEAKER_02]: She just was very vocal about it, very, very quickly, and I was still navigating, you know, the grief of my mom's death. [SPEAKER_02]: So I was kind of in witness protection program, kind of thing. [SPEAKER_02]: Once I got out of it, then I was just like, oh, okay, guns blazing, let's go, let's do this and let's talk about this. [SPEAKER_02]: No shame, no, and I think because you know what, we live with so much shame that doesn't even belong to us. [SPEAKER_02]: We live with, it's

like we're, we're conditioned to feel shame about every aspect of our existence. [SPEAKER_02]: And you know what? [SPEAKER_02]: It's exhausting. [SPEAKER_02]: It's exhausting. [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not going to feel shame or embarrassment or humiliation about going through a natural physiological biological, you know, experience that basically is just letting me know that I'm still alive. [SPEAKER_02]: No one aging is a gift. [SPEAKER_02]: It's a gift and a privilege. [SPEAKER_00]: It is a privilege because if you're not menopausal of that age and you don't live long enough guess what? [SPEAKER_00]: You're dead. [SPEAKER_00]: And so you are right. [SPEAKER_00]: She's been very brave. [SPEAKER_00]: She's also lived with Type II, I believe, diabetes. [SPEAKER_00]: She's had GI

problem. [SPEAKER_00]: She's been very vocal about her health struggles. [SPEAKER_00]: She looks amazing, but I think what comes across with her is that she's not trying to do it for anyone but herself. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and that is that that and I think women appreciate that so much. [SPEAKER_02]: I think that that is indeed her to women even more than she had already was. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, we loved Holly because she was a great actress and she was she was a pioneer. [SPEAKER_02]: And she saw all these wonderful things and she was so stunningly beautiful. [SPEAKER_02]: And she was always so elegant and poised. [SPEAKER_02]: all the things. [SPEAKER_00]: And then she navigated some she was

single like you for a lot of time. [SPEAKER_00]: And so she navigated some tough relationships. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, she took some heat. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, she was. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, she was. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: So we love Hallie up here apparently. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: They get no, well we're from the same little town in Ohio. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Bedford, Ohio. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: So, yes, I love myself another Ohio girl. [SPEAKER_00]: So, you've been talking about your platform. [SPEAKER_00]: You use a lot of humor, but I think you use it so effectively. [SPEAKER_00]: But what's the single, most effective format you found for a menopause content? [SPEAKER_00]: Because you and I got a lot of views and that

was in the beginning. [SPEAKER_00]: Then you went on and won this fancy award. [SPEAKER_00]: and congratulations. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_02]: So was the award that you won? [SPEAKER_02]: It was a Gracie award. [SPEAKER_02]: It was women, the women's alliance in media and it's a very prestigious award. [SPEAKER_02]: It was the 50th year. [SPEAKER_02]: So [SPEAKER_02]: You graduated. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_02]: It was, it was, I'm sitting in a room with all of these incredible, these, these giants, you know, in the media world and women that I hold in such a high regard, I mean, you know, um, [SPEAKER_02]: Sarah Sidner was talking and do you know who Sarah Sidner's she I believe she's on good

day L.A. She's on she's an anchor on one of the morning shows in L.A. and she has been documenting her breast cancer journey. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, and she oh my god. [SPEAKER_02]: She's just such an incredible woman. [SPEAKER_02]: She was also very good friends with Ananda Lewis. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: So that just that parallel story of one friend who chose different methods to deal with breast cancer, which, you know, and, and maybe some, you know, we talked about the whole, um, the whole concept of our femininity and losing our hair, but also if we're confronted with breast cancer, what a double mastectomy diagnosis or recommendation. [SPEAKER_02]: looks like feels like and how some women are literally

does that mean that I'm no longer a woman and I have for women kind of thing and this is what a non-to-face. [SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, rest in peace to a non-deluis. [SPEAKER_02]: We learned a lot by [SPEAKER_02]: from that loss. [SPEAKER_02]: But now seeing Sarah sitting or standing on that stage and winning an award and just getting the recognition for being so powerful and brave and courageous, documenting her journey for other women to pay attention to and understand and maybe learn something from she was one of the women that was recognized there. [SPEAKER_02]: Monica Lewinsky was there. [SPEAKER_02]: I can't say enough about that woman. [SPEAKER_02]: I want to interview her so badly. [SPEAKER_02]:

I think that she is just such an affirmitable woman who is traversed something that almost no one on this planet can understand. [SPEAKER_00]: You know what's going to happen now, because you've thrown it out there. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I'm a manifesting monster. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, same. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, no, I'm a manifesting monster. [SPEAKER_00]: No, my team and my husband and my, they're like, don't get an idea into some of these head because she will will it into existence. [SPEAKER_00]: No, so I am all about manifestation. [SPEAKER_00]: I threw some words out there. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I actually met you at the place, oh, I had put Oprah. [SPEAKER_00]: I was one of the first things

that I wanted to do this year. [SPEAKER_00]: I threw it out there. [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I am going to see Oprah this year. [SPEAKER_00]: And I've gotten to see her twice in action. [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't made it yet on her couch, but one day, [SPEAKER_02]: Well, you have another couple inches. [SPEAKER_02]: You've manifest your manifesto and you saw me like, what do you do? [SPEAKER_00]: Why aren't you on stage of like, I know. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, because it's like, I, that seems like where I would see you on day one day one day. [SPEAKER_02]: One day, very, very soon. [SPEAKER_02]: But congrats to you on all your success. [SPEAKER_02]: So what do you think

has resonated with everybody? [SPEAKER_02]: What do you, what do you, [SPEAKER_02]: The show has been the most useful medium platform, you know, it's because I get to have these kinds of introspective conversations where we get to, you know, wrap a lot of information and education up in some humor and personal anecdotal information and experiences that women. [SPEAKER_02]: kind of relate to, not kind of they do relate to and the vast majority of comments that I read are from women who are saying people, husbands that are saying thank you for helping us, understand how to talk to my wife and how to be more gentle with my wife during this time. [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, oh

my god, that's [SPEAKER_02]: those sweet or like women saying, you know what, I'm in my early 30s, but thank you for, you know, making me aware of this. [SPEAKER_02]: So now I know what's coming down the pipeline so that I can have these conversations with my aunties and my mom. [SPEAKER_02]: Just people saying thank you for the information. [SPEAKER_02]: I thought that starting a podcast trying to talk to black folks or people of color about their health was like pushing a boulder up a hill wearing roller skates because a lot of time people want to be people act like ostriches. [SPEAKER_02]: They want to stick their head in the sand and they just want to

be like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like like, like, like, like [SPEAKER_02]: There's a distrust of the medical system and understandably so because, you know, the ignored, not just ignored, but like our bodies were experimented on. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, like if you think about the history of the chainsaw and why

they were actually created, that is a Googleable thing, but [SPEAKER_02]: But there is a very large distrust of the medical community, medical community, medical industry, and for very good reason. [SPEAKER_00]: But that's why this platform is so important because for me, sitting in rooms, teaching men and women, because a lot of times a couple would come in together when they're learning about menopause or sexual health care, is still a scarier place, whether there's distrust or not. [SPEAKER_00]: But this, what you've done, like sitting in this space, is a lot easier. [SPEAKER_00]: Don't you think, laughter is the best medicine? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: but it's easier for people to digest and if they want to just

listen or they just want to dip their toe in, that way they can get information and then they can take it and make it something actionable. [SPEAKER_00]: They can go, oh, you know what? [SPEAKER_00]: That's happening it to my wife or to my girlfriend or to, you know, whoever and now I can go in and make a doctor's appointment. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that's why it resonates because you do it in a way that's full of humor. [SPEAKER_00]: It's approachable. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I remember I met you and within two minutes, I was laughing so hard. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, this is going to be the easiest hour. [SPEAKER_00]: We ended up talking for an

hour and a half the first time I remember. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Because I was a couple innings late to the game. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I mean, it's some, this platform and, you know, this medium is very, very useful and I find it to be the most impactful, but I would say that the second one, the I like to use is Instagram and what I like to do is I like to serve myself up on a platter as a guinea pig for others, because I know that a lot of people are fearful about going for certain things, like a mammogram, [SPEAKER_02]: Black folks are the number one killer of black folks is cardiovascular disease, black

men and black women. [SPEAKER_02]: And so what do you do? [SPEAKER_02]: What does that even mean? [SPEAKER_02]: That sounds kind of arbitrary, you know, when you actually just say the statistic. [SPEAKER_02]: But [SPEAKER_02]: One thing that you can do, for example, as women, once we start hitting Perry Menopause, something happens to our cholesterol levels. [SPEAKER_02]: They start to shoot up. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: But high cholesterol is not necessarily indicative of heart disease. [SPEAKER_02]: One doesn't necessarily have to do with the other. [SPEAKER_02]: It can, but not necessarily. [SPEAKER_00]: Are you going to start talking to me about cardiovascular risk markers and coronary calcium scores? [SPEAKER_00]: Am I going to have to give you a NMD

by proxy too? [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to start. [SPEAKER_00]: Because nobody screams. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, cardiac disease. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: So tell me more. [SPEAKER_02]: Well, me and my doctor, listen. [SPEAKER_02]: I pick my doctors by finding out how much they, how much of me they can tolerate. [SPEAKER_02]: All my questions and you're not kicking me out of the room. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna be here for if it's gonna take 30 minutes an hour. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm taking that hour and that's how I choose my physicians is the ones that are willing to just sit there and tirelessly go over things with me and talk to me. [SPEAKER_02]: And they realize that I'm very well read that I do

my homework. [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm not just sitting in their wasting their time. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm really, really trying to learn how to [SPEAKER_02]: you know, live a long, healthy life, but also because I'm taking this information with me and I'm putting it out there. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm dispensing this information, you know, so... [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, what's gonna make you so mad? [SPEAKER_00]: Is the majority of women that I hear? [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, oh, I was told I've had cholesterol come back in six months. [SPEAKER_00]: I got what is six months gonna do? [SPEAKER_00]: What? [SPEAKER_00]: There's data points that you can get. [SPEAKER_02]: I understand. [SPEAKER_02]: Cluster all's not all cholesterol. [SPEAKER_02]: I know, so this

is what we did. [SPEAKER_02]: So, when we started to see my cholesterol level, you know, going up, we decided to monitor it. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: And we put a time limit on that. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: And so it was maybe about maybe started with him, cholesterol level was what it was. [SPEAKER_02]: Let's see in six months what it says. [SPEAKER_02]: At six months, it had gone up a little bit higher. [SPEAKER_02]: I said, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: For the next six months, I'm going to alter a few things. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to cut out drinking. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to cut out red meat process foods. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a whole eggs. [SPEAKER_02]: Just do egg whites. [SPEAKER_02]: Let

me see what that does. [SPEAKER_02]: So six months later we take my cholesterol level. [SPEAKER_02]: It's even higher. [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, okay, what next? [SPEAKER_02]: He said I'm going to send you for a CT calcium scan. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, coronary calcium score. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Now covered by insurance. [SPEAKER_00]: No, it's not usually about a hundred dollars no matter where you live in the country. [SPEAKER_02]: Worth it, takes about five minutes. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it does. [SPEAKER_02]: It was painless. [SPEAKER_02]: You just kind of just climb up on that, you know, little MRI little situation. [SPEAKER_02]: They hook up like the EKG. [SPEAKER_00]: The CT. [SPEAKER_00]: The CT scanner. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, yes, yes, and

they all look the same. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, they're big. [SPEAKER_00]: You put you in a machine. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it lasts three minutes. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it's very, very short. [SPEAKER_02]: And once I came out of that and my doctor got the results back, he said, Mel, I got to put you on a cholesterol medication. [SPEAKER_02]: He was like, I was actually quite surprised by how much plaque had started to calcify in the arteries of your heart. [SPEAKER_02]: Now I said, okay, tell me what this would have meant in... [SPEAKER_02]: three, five, 10 years. [SPEAKER_02]: He said in about five years, you probably would have had a cardiac event. [SPEAKER_02]: And you want to know what would have

happened? [SPEAKER_02]: People would have said, but she's so healthy. [SPEAKER_02]: That's Melissa. [SPEAKER_02]: She's like the picture. [SPEAKER_02]: She's picture perfect health. [SPEAKER_02]: She's always working out. [SPEAKER_02]: She's always posting her workouts. [SPEAKER_02]: She does yoga. [SPEAKER_02]: She does Pilates. [SPEAKER_02]: She does yoga lotties. [SPEAKER_02]: She gets right. [SPEAKER_02]: She does this. [SPEAKER_02]: She does that. [SPEAKER_02]: She works out in the gym. [SPEAKER_02]: She, she, her body, blah, blah, blah. [SPEAKER_02]: But then I had a major cardiac event. [SPEAKER_02]: Why? [SPEAKER_02]: Because people always look at the outside and they don't really have any understanding about what's going on in the inside and they also don't know the questions that they have to ask. [SPEAKER_02]:

So when I go and get these things done, I record as much of it as they will allow me to record. [SPEAKER_02]: And what I cannot record, like if I have to go into the room with the machines and they won't allow recording, [SPEAKER_02]: then I will do follow-up like while I'm changing, I'm like, well, yeah, that was interesting, blah, blah, blah, but then I put that information out for people to see that this is what I went to do so that hopefully I take away some of their nervousness or anxiety about going to get these screenings done. [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it's not a procedure, it's a screening. [SPEAKER_02]: It's a screening, but yeah, we

don't talk about it with anybody. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_02]: One thing that I don't think that a lot of women seem to understand is that [SPEAKER_02]: Menopause, including pair of menopause, like I'm including that under the umbrella, is less a gynecological event and it's way more cognitive. [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's complete. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's a tough. [SPEAKER_02]: So most women, they think it's okay in my ovaries and my period and whatever else, but they don't necessarily compute that it is a complete, [SPEAKER_02]: It is a full-on castration event. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what it's called. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, because we were taught at Spakini Medicine. [SPEAKER_00]: It was Spakini Medicine, so only the parts that are covered by the Bakini.

[SPEAKER_00]: So now there's this whole understanding that no, it goes way beyond that. [SPEAKER_00]: Like even I talked about. [SPEAKER_00]: So everyone's on GLP ones, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's on GLP. [SPEAKER_00]: So when I love my patients, because they talk about Botox and they'll inject their face and they'll inject themselves for GLP one and weight loss. [SPEAKER_00]: But nobody wants to inject themselves because one of the two FDA-proof medications for low libido is an inductor bullet, I'm not injecting myself for sex. [SPEAKER_00]: But going back to the GLP one, [SPEAKER_00]: I just saw an article recently about, you know, people were talking about a zempick face. [SPEAKER_00]: Now there's a zempick vulva. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And

so what happens is they're going to lose. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I got it. [SPEAKER_00]: What were you doing with the mirror the other day? [SPEAKER_00]: I was. [SPEAKER_00]: I was checking things out. [SPEAKER_00]: You know, now I was. [SPEAKER_00]: As you should though, you should. [SPEAKER_00]: I know, because there are things that can happen down there, dermatologic conditions, other, you get a mold down there. [SPEAKER_00]: So as a kind of college, I fully support looking at your anatomy. [SPEAKER_00]: So you know what is normal and you'll know when something is not normal. [SPEAKER_00]: But you, okay, you were looking from there. [SPEAKER_02]: I might ever took a mirror down there. [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, holy

shit. [SPEAKER_02]: My God, I never knew myself, but now I do. [SPEAKER_02]: And let's just say that at this stage of my life, I have a whole new respect for porn stars, and all of the anal bleaching that they do, and the beautification processes that they do to make everything just like, you know, looking like a blooming rose. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, every pedal has fallen off the bloom over here. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, but it still works. [SPEAKER_02]: But it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a,

it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's [SPEAKER_02]: Topical estrogen or at least some suppositories to jazz this little situation up a little bit more Razzle dazzle going on down there. [SPEAKER_02]: So we're not talking about the jooling or the jazzling. [SPEAKER_00]: No, which people have asked me to do, but honestly yes, you can

use not only suppository. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm literally talking about the ball you [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, the volume loss. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, the volume loss. [SPEAKER_02]: I have no shame. [SPEAKER_02]: I told you people. [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't exist. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: The volume loss is jarring, but like I said, it still works. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: If it is. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not a doctor who is saying anybody needs this for Cosmises, but there are doctors that will give you fillers for the for a Zombak Valka. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: You can do radio frequency, microneedolene to help with collagen, elastin, blood flow, and to tighten and tone. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: So there are things that you can do. [SPEAKER_00]: And

then there are topical treatment. [SPEAKER_00]: So we all talk about, you know, we talked about earlier, vaginal hormones. [SPEAKER_00]: But there are also external vulvar treatments that you can do that are usually a combination of estrogen and testosterone. [SPEAKER_00]: But because we are a country that does not have a testosterone FDA approved product for women, for women, we're not one of the lucky four. [SPEAKER_00]: But there are doctors who are in the know and who will compound these for you and they're safe and effective. [SPEAKER_00]: So there are other ways. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't always have to undergo the knife or laser, [SPEAKER_00]: There are treatments that are effective and safe that can help both cause

meces, but I would also say discomfort sometimes when tissue is um starts to get thinner. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Then that becomes more sensitive. [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_00]: Then that leads to like [SPEAKER_00]: Discomfort. [SPEAKER_00]: Discomfort. [SPEAKER_00]: Discomfort. [SPEAKER_00]: It can sometimes get caught in clothing, which can become very painful. [SPEAKER_00]: But there are options. [SPEAKER_00]: You do not have to live that way. [SPEAKER_00]: And the most cost-effective option is usually a topical, [SPEAKER_00]: hormone therapy, but no, there are lasers. [SPEAKER_00]: There's radio frequency. [SPEAKER_00]: There's micro-needling, but OZEMPIC VALVA is here to stay, and it's real, but there are treatment options for our treatment options for it. [SPEAKER_02]: And also in addition to that, one of

the things that we were also talking about is the fact that there are drugs that address our low libido. [SPEAKER_02]: I know that there's 17 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, and most of them are covered by insurance. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: Most women don't even know about the two that are available for women. [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know what the first one's called. [SPEAKER_02]: The second one is called Adi. [SPEAKER_02]: Hi, Adi. [SPEAKER_02]: My name is Melissa. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: about pharmaceuticals, is it a manufacturer? [SPEAKER_00]: No, thank you. [SPEAKER_00]: I did my homework for getting the fur out. [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, sprawl are at your girl, okay? [SPEAKER_02]: Because I want to scream that from the rooftops that we

don't have to live this way. [SPEAKER_00]: That's for all women, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. [SPEAKER_00]: And Kudos to Sprout and Cindy for getting the first ever FDA-approved female sexual health drug across with the FDA. [SPEAKER_00]: And you and I talked about this. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: She did not give up on us. [SPEAKER_00]: But if I agree, I remember, got fast tracked. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes, it did. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it did. [SPEAKER_00]: That's emergency. [SPEAKER_00]: And the other national emergency. [SPEAKER_00]: National emergency, don't work. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my God, for bad. [SPEAKER_00]: But Vylicy is the other injectable. [SPEAKER_02]: It's Vylicy. [SPEAKER_02]: Vylicy. [SPEAKER_02]: Hand that sucker over. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Where do you inject it? [SPEAKER_02]: Your butt

cheek, your stomach. [SPEAKER_02]: Where does it go? [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: So, mainline that. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: So, Vylicy, I got a date next week. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: So, let me tell you. [SPEAKER_00]: you put it in your belly or your upper thigh, 45 minutes before you want to want to have sex. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Is that so long? [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to 45 minutes before you want to want to want to. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're doing it because the desire is not there. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: So that's what. [SPEAKER_00]: So that's when the four play starts. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: You got to give yourself 45. [SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of like the blue pill. [SPEAKER_00]:

Is there a good one? [SPEAKER_00]: Is this where off? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: 16 to 18 hours. [SPEAKER_00]: And then it's like Cinderella. [SPEAKER_02]: Good money then. [SPEAKER_00]: All right. [SPEAKER_00]: Because I'm not. [SPEAKER_02]: So listen. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Those 16 to 18 hours. [SPEAKER_02]: But you guys. [SPEAKER_00]: But now with this medicine, that's what I'm here to tell you. [SPEAKER_00]: Really? [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: So it stays on. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it's 16 to 18 hours. [SPEAKER_00]: It stays on. [SPEAKER_00]: For as many acts as you can fit in. [SPEAKER_00]: Mellie Mellie is about to join the land of the living folks. [SPEAKER_02]: You see, it's about to, she about to be outside outside. [SPEAKER_00]: But

what I was joking about earlier is I learned so much from my patients. [SPEAKER_00]: Learn as much as I teach them. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was jokingly, and I'm a Botox girl too. [SPEAKER_00]: So Botox for the phase. [SPEAKER_00]: I am trained Botox for the vagina to treat a condition called vaginismus. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not for cosmetics, this ladies. [SPEAKER_00]: Women will inject with GLPs, but they are so afraid to inject themselves. [SPEAKER_02]: That is fair. [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, you want me to inject myself for sex, but I will tell you, I had a patient who was like, Dr. Javane, you need to give me a refill and I said, what happened? [SPEAKER_00]: Chico's, my vagina was

woke. [SPEAKER_00]: And I said, was it not woke before? [SPEAKER_00]: She said, nope, but it woke up for the first time. [SPEAKER_00]: Because it helps with the rousal as well. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so it's after you improve for HSD, see, hyperactive sexual desire disorder, low libido, but all the other domains of sexuality, a lot of the both drugs show improvement. [SPEAKER_00]: And so it was the arousal piece that she noticed first. [SPEAKER_02]: And then she said, it took a second, but then my brain woke up to it. [SPEAKER_02]: Wait, so hold on, when you say arousal, does that mean that the flood gates open? [SPEAKER_00]: blood flow so arousal medically you're going to crack I'm cracking

up look at you because you make me laugh Um, but arousal is the flushing in a good way not the half lashes we're talking about I'm talking about that. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, those flanks. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, it's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's

okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay [SPEAKER_00]: So it literally is, because what are all the erectile disfunction medications? [SPEAKER_00]: They're literally fixing a pump or a blood flow issue, right? [SPEAKER_00]: You got to fill up the valve, then you got to close the valve, and then you got to release the valve. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what feels so good. [SPEAKER_00]: It's just, but literally a pressure system. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what the penis is. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: So same thing, the clitoris, knees, blood flow. [SPEAKER_00]: Are we an inverted penis? [SPEAKER_00]:

We are an inverted larger penis. [SPEAKER_02]: But that, that size does matter boys. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not kidding. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not even a joke. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I let my bucket of f's went out the door. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, about two or three years ago, so I'm not kidding. [SPEAKER_00]: So most people don't realize the clitoris is actually larger than the penis, and it's just flaccid as such an ugly word. [SPEAKER_00]: But I like it. [SPEAKER_00]: But it's non-arassist. [SPEAKER_00]: It's appropriate. [SPEAKER_00]: But the majority of the clitoris is internal. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's why most people don't realize that actually it would [SPEAKER_02]: Do you know many times I've asked guys, I'm like, so if

you had 24 hours to be a woman and have sex, would you do it? [SPEAKER_02]: They're like, no, I'm just like, you're stupider than you look. [SPEAKER_02]: Do you have any idea how much we talk to God when we hit an orgasm, okay? [SPEAKER_02]: All you do is, oh, you know, like we talk to God when we have an orgasm and you don't want that for yourself at least once in 24 hours, okay? [SPEAKER_00]: No. [SPEAKER_02]: Whatever. [SPEAKER_00]: So you've talked about things like being willing to be a guinea pig and put yourself out there and advocating so people aren't scared. [SPEAKER_00]: What is the one thing that is taboo for you though? [SPEAKER_00]: That

you wouldn't put out there. [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not that keen on talking about my personal life. [SPEAKER_02]: Like when it comes to me dating somebody, I usually hold those cards very close to the vest because first of all, I don't even count it unless it's lasted a year. [SPEAKER_02]: So by doing that, I've been single for about 20 years. [SPEAKER_00]: You meet the definition of menopause. [SPEAKER_02]: It's been one year without men's season. [SPEAKER_02]: It's been one year without a date. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, right. [SPEAKER_02]: Here you go. [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. [SPEAKER_02]: So I would say that those are just because I've had such [SPEAKER_02]: You know, bad luck or whatever you want to call it or a

poor picker or whatever you want to call it, it's just not something that I, I, I reveal or talk about that much, but in terms of taboo, I've just lived my life in the public eye for so long and I just, I feel like. [SPEAKER_02]: Part of my reason for being here, a purpose is, I'm a conduit, and I'm also, you know, I understand the human condition and the human experience in a way, and I have a ability to tell stories in a way, like I'm a natural born orator. [SPEAKER_02]: So that's what I'm supposed to do. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I never had children, I never got married, so in terms of like having a

purpose-driven life, [SPEAKER_02]: live and report on the experiences that the vast majority of us are going to go through so that I can create a sense of you know, ease and a release of tension for people to, I don't know, realize their best selves live their best lives, have their best relationships, have their best health care. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because even though I'm single [SPEAKER_02]: I have some, I don't know, why should I trust you? [SPEAKER_02]: I guess I'm really good at my girlfriend who's been married for about 10 years. [SPEAKER_02]: Her and her husband, you know, they hit like a little bit of a rough patch and she is a, whoo boy, she is strong.

[SPEAKER_02]: She means stubborn and oftentimes, like, you know, when they just had, they had like an argument and she just refused to see. [SPEAKER_02]: anything from his point of view. [SPEAKER_02]: And the way that I articulated [SPEAKER_02]: from the outside looking in. [SPEAKER_02]: A couple of days later, she said, I really want to thank you for that. [SPEAKER_02]: She was like, I was really, really, really, just so focused on my own anger. [SPEAKER_02]: And when you said anger is, why is your anger so important to you? [SPEAKER_02]: You're in this relationship with this person. [SPEAKER_02]: Why it can't afford for it to be that important to you. [SPEAKER_02]: It's not like he didn't go out

and do this and that. [SPEAKER_02]: And whatever else, it's like, you guys just hit a rough patch, but do you love each other? [SPEAKER_02]: And he's your person. [SPEAKER_02]: work on moving that aside. [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I did, I did a good, I did a good service to my friends. [SPEAKER_00]: So where other than your friends, where can our audience find you? [SPEAKER_00]: Where can we keep up with you for this amazing advice? [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it is my podcast is called Hot and Bothered with Melissa Ford. [SPEAKER_02]: My second, my first guest ever was Dr. Somey Javed. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, so that was so amazing. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, but you can find me on YouTube,

uh, the hot and bothered with Melissa Ford. [SPEAKER_02]: Um, we also have an Instagram page, which is the hot and bothered podcast. [SPEAKER_02]: Also my Instagram page, which is Melissa Ford, M-E-L-Y-S-S-A-F-O-R-D, and [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's that's how you find me. [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. [SPEAKER_02]: That is how you find me. [SPEAKER_00]: So if this conversation gave you a language for a tough topic, share it with a friend who needs the nudge, follow Melissa, listen to Hottenbothered and send us the taboo you want busted next. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, friend. [SPEAKER_00]: You're welcome, friend. [SPEAKER_00]: This is more than a conversation. [SPEAKER_00]: It's a call, a call to build something better. [SPEAKER_00]: Subscribe, share, and bring more disruptors into

this room. [SPEAKER_00]: For unfiltered insights and bold ideas, go to drsomeet.com to sign up for the monthly disruptor newsletter and follow us on social at drsomeet. [SPEAKER_00]: We're not waiting for a seat at the table. [SPEAKER_00]: We're building our own table.