The Untold Truth About Libido, Menopause, & Aging w/ Stacy London

[SPEAKER_01]: There is a disconnection between mind and body in women. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't want to think about our body. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't think that it's worthy of pleasure. [SPEAKER_01]: And we just live in our bodies. [SPEAKER_00]: She reshaped how America dressed. [SPEAKER_00]: And now she's reshaping how we talk about menopause. [SPEAKER_00]: If midlife is a reintroduction, Stacey London has already made her entrance. [SPEAKER_01]: She's become one of the most on a apologetic voices in the conversation around midlife, menopause, and what it means to age, there is still such a stigma that you could get to a point in your life where sex is not interesting to you, and people can make you feel a great

deal of shame around that. [SPEAKER_00]: Some of it is just the declining testosterone level. [SPEAKER_01]: For a long time, I was a real purist. [SPEAKER_01]: If we're talking about menopause, it's just about hormone. [SPEAKER_01]: But then you think about all the life issues that get piled on in mid-life. [SPEAKER_01]: The fact that menopause is taken this long to be part of the cultural conversation, we really need more medical voices. [SPEAKER_01]: If menopause had a dress code, what would you burn and what would you keep? [SPEAKER_01]: I would burn it. [SPEAKER_01]: The thing that looks the best on people going through menopause is [SPEAKER_00]: Expert care for menopause and sexual health now just to click away.

[SPEAKER_00]: Virtual care by her MD offers longer visits, personalized treatment plans, and trusted providers all from the comfort of home. [SPEAKER_00]: Learn more at her MD.com. [SPEAKER_00]: This episode was sponsored by her MD. [SPEAKER_00]: They see welcome to the disruptor. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh wow. [SPEAKER_00]: As I'm growing my platform and learning, I have definitely, you know, I work with brands, talk with brands, but I like the innovation, the scientific, the medical advisory board, because I curate products all the time and tell people, yes, in addition to your professional hormones, you should use lubricant and moisturizer and women want to know, you know, what's safe, what's effective, because there's a lot of noise out

there. [SPEAKER_01]: And I will say so and I think it's so important why I, you know, respect you and admire you so much as a colleague, but you know, just have so much love and respect for you as a friend is because I think as a kind of collegeist, you know, you were one of the first people to talk about the shame. [SPEAKER_01]: and the pain involved in coming to a doctor and having to admit to having low libido or painful sex or being miserable about the idea of having sex or being able to open up there's nothing to me in women's health that doesn't require some sort of therapy, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Which is also

why I think all my doctors now are women because I just want to be like, you know? [SPEAKER_01]: And you get it, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm done with the advocating for myself. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm advocating. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm teaching other people to advocate. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not here to know me because they're like, yes, we know. [SPEAKER_01]: You know? [SPEAKER_01]: But then I... And I... [SPEAKER_00]: There is so much therapy involved. [SPEAKER_00]: You are so right and so much talking involved. [SPEAKER_01]: Because all of this, all the things that I keep coming back to, eventually I'll write about this on my step. [SPEAKER_01]: When I figure out how not to write a subject 15 minutes before I'm supposed

to publish it, but that's all other thing. [SPEAKER_01]: But this idea that almost all, [SPEAKER_01]: issues for women are interconnected with identity and self-esteem. [SPEAKER_01]: Completely. [SPEAKER_00]: And we know this, yes, even with sexual health, confidence, your vital signs, your performance at work, the way you feel about yourself, everything is affected by what is going on. [SPEAKER_00]: I always say in the bedroom, but I hope people are having sex in other places other than just the bedroom, but it's like one-to-beasts. [SPEAKER_00]: I thought we'd be coming. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yes, absolutely. [SPEAKER_00]: What is going on in the bedroom effects? [SPEAKER_00]: What's going on in the boardroom? [SPEAKER_00]: And I think for those people who want

to be intimate, because certainly Stacey, I support if a woman or a patient and an individual has said to me, listen, that part of my life is over. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm fulfilled in other ways. [SPEAKER_00]: We don't chase it. [SPEAKER_00]: We don't treat it. [SPEAKER_00]: We don't medicalize it. [SPEAKER_00]: That is fine. [SPEAKER_00]: That is healthy. [SPEAKER_00]: But if someone... [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, just because I know because you're going to see that if somebody comes to you because I want to talk well both things not that it's my podcast it's yours, but I have questions I love this I will tell you the incidents of people now I really credit Gen Z with giving us the language

around LGBTQ IA plot right. [SPEAKER_01]: But the older I get, and again, I think that this is, in some ways, adjacent to aging, if not akin to aging, if not causally-related, or aging, that are desired for sex dips. [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I don't know if that's long-term, or if it's like a U dip, and then it comes back up. [SPEAKER_01]: But what I'm finding more and more of is that a lot of people my teachers are referring to themselves as a sexual, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Even if they had partners before, even if they were married before, it's almost like a way of the A stands for abstinence, you know, that that that that that asexual some people,

obviously, this is not a choice for them. [SPEAKER_01]: This is how they feel. [SPEAKER_01]: I read an article that one. [SPEAKER_01]: who realized that she was asexual her whole life, but, you know, I'm curious about those people because I think that there is still such a stigma around the idea that you could get to a point in your life where sex is not interesting to you, and people, um, [SPEAKER_01]: can make you feel a great deal of shame around that. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm wondering how you shouldn't. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I, as long as, yeah, I talked to them about it. [SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, really differentiate, is it like you said by choice or is it

that, oh, my gosh, I'm in a loving relationship and I want to, but I don't have the want to want and I need you to help me. [SPEAKER_00]: And this is causing me a lot of distress or anxiety [SPEAKER_00]: versus, um, now there's not, there are two corollaries, corollaries. [SPEAKER_00]: If you're single and you feel that way and you're like, I'm done. [SPEAKER_00]: I had a great, you know, sex life, I had a great run and you know, now I don't want that complication, right? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm making great money, I have great friends, I have great vibrators, like, [SPEAKER_00]: They were great products out there. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I met a woman in her seventh decade.

[SPEAKER_00]: She's like, I'm having the best sex in my life. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, oh my God, you know, who is it? [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like my vibrator. [SPEAKER_00]: We love you. [SPEAKER_00]: We love you. [SPEAKER_00]: I love you already. [SPEAKER_00]: And so that is, I wouldn't consider that asexual. [SPEAKER_00]: Asexuals really when someone has kind of been that way, you know, they're their whole life. [SPEAKER_00]: I would say that's a choice. [SPEAKER_00]: The problem is when there's discord into the relationship, right? [SPEAKER_00]: One partner wants it. [SPEAKER_00]: all the time more or even at all and the other one is like I'm done and that's where you get into okay let's at least start with

therapy let's see if we can get to if you both want to stay in the relationship and you both desire the relationship can we get to somewhere where both people are happy and satisfied and don't feel pressure because what happens to a lot of unfortunately women and I chose that I'm purpose because men usually don't have check-up oxax [SPEAKER_00]: But women end up just kind of giving in and adding it to their task list. [SPEAKER_00]: And that is not what we call sexually satisfying events. [SPEAKER_00]: That is not sexual satisfaction. [SPEAKER_00]: When you were checking a box to keep a relationship or just to keep, you know, him happy or her happy because she loves

you, that's not satisfaction. [SPEAKER_00]: It's, and so that is what you really, like you said, it's almost therapy. [SPEAKER_00]: You have to tease that out, figure out what's going on, and then you ask them about medications and duration of symptoms and how long it's been going on. [SPEAKER_00]: Some of it, though, stacey, honestly, is just the declining testosterone levels. [SPEAKER_00]: You put people on... [SPEAKER_00]: hormone, and all of a sudden, you know, the brain starts to wake up, the clitoris, the vagina, like everything starts to, I don't want to normalize because I hate normal and abnormal, but, you know, maybe return to a better state or where you want it to be, and there's also

two FDA approved medications, and it's very interesting, Stacey, they don't work on hormones, they don't work on the localized anatomy, they work on neuro, chemistry. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, of course I know Addy. [SPEAKER_01]: We both know Cindy Eckert. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm unfamiliar with what the other one is. [SPEAKER_00]: And this one I find a little bit humorous because of what's going on with JLP1. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's an injection. [SPEAKER_00]: And that one is truly like you know Addy is the pink pill. [SPEAKER_00]: You take it every night regardless of whether or not you want to be intimate. [SPEAKER_00]: So that your desire is just back. [SPEAKER_00]: Vitalisi is an injection, you inject yourself 45 minutes before

you want to want to have sex. [SPEAKER_00]: The effects last 12 to 16 hours. [SPEAKER_00]: It's really nice for people who just don't want to take a medicine daily. [SPEAKER_00]: Just want it for, you know, for the actor when they want to be intimate. [SPEAKER_00]: But I find it humorous when I'm talking to my patients because, you know, we laugh a lot. [SPEAKER_00]: I think laughter is the best medicine, but when they, they are not willing to give themselves a shot for sex, [SPEAKER_00]: to lose the weight of it or for the Botox they're like giving me needles in my face or to make me skinny but I will not take a shot for my

libido it's like literally it'll be it's the first barrier they're like nope uh do not want the shot yeah I [SPEAKER_01]: I'm totally fucked by that, because we have normalized the idea of using needles in every day. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I guess both knocks for the last 20 years, but like now GLP, I always want to cover GLP 5s. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what? [SPEAKER_01]: It's the same thing, you know, and I also find it so weird that we really are, we, there's the medical side of things and there's the sort of phase of life beauty side of things, right? [SPEAKER_01]: I see you having to kind of battle against every day,

right? [SPEAKER_01]: The idea that we were, we weren't be recorded about this, but we were talking about labial plastic, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Like that there is vaginal reconstruction, and I was like, who is doing this? [SPEAKER_01]: And then I realized, oh my God, it's the same people who are doing Botox, who may have had issues with sex or sex drive during menopause, all of these things are to make us feel confident. [SPEAKER_01]: stronger in our identities so that we go out into the world able to enjoy things like pleasure and sex and other people and how closely related they are because for a long time I was a real purist I was like you know know

if we're talking about menopause it's just about hormones but then you think about all of [SPEAKER_01]: the life issues that get piled on in midlife, whether that's, you know, the kids, or the, you know, taking care of elder parents or parents or dying, or you're having kids up against parent and applause, all of these other things. [SPEAKER_01]: But really, I never, I never realized how. [SPEAKER_01]: the way we think about beauty, and the way we think about things that are actually healthy for our aging, are somehow almost combined in our minds, if we think about taking testosterone, we can say, yay, great, okay, that's gonna help us maintain muscle mass and that can bring back

energy, but everybody who talks to me about testosterone, the first thing they say is it's because they want to have sex again. [SPEAKER_01]: right and I find it fascinating when you're talking about sex when you're talking about let's say the big feelings of menopause what I call them big feelings right the depression more the anxiety or the rage said I mean I don't know I don't know I've never had I've never been a person who could have sex when I was like deeply clinically depressed. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know if I can able to have sex one of anxious. [SPEAKER_01]: I've had, I've been able to have sex one of them. [SPEAKER_00]: The drugs that

work on the neurotransmitters in the brain at least Adi was initially studied and does have positive effects on mood and anxiety. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's all interconnected. [SPEAKER_00]: It's all interconnected. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And people, we know this that mental health issues go hand in hand with sexual health issues. [SPEAKER_00]: Now, we know that a lot of the anti-depressants cause problems with sexual function, but we also know that people get diagnosed with both, like anxiety, depression. [SPEAKER_00]: Some of it is from alienation. [SPEAKER_00]: Some of it is from not [SPEAKER_00]: wanting to date or to go out there because they don't have a sex drive. [SPEAKER_00]: But vice versa. [SPEAKER_00]: So, but it mental health and

sexual health go hand in hand. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I say for me, it's a barometer. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, when you think about it, when you have the flu, you have COVID, you're not having sex. [SPEAKER_00]: So, sex is a vital sign. [SPEAKER_00]: Just like pain, just like your blood pressure. [SPEAKER_00]: It tells me what's going on, particularly if you are someone who is, [SPEAKER_00]: not asexual and is sexually active and wants to be. [SPEAKER_00]: If you're not having sex and it's happening on a regular cadence and you want to, that's when, you know, I step in and say, okay, something is going on. [SPEAKER_00]: But I think for a lot of women, the loss of

that sexual power, that sexual being, even though what they say that sexual identity, when it starts to disappear for them. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, they feel like it's another loss, along with the word finding, you know, the brain fog, the inability, maybe to go to work, the, whatever is going on. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think it's just, they start measuring losses in their mind. [SPEAKER_00]: All the things that used to be that are no longer there, kind of remind them of their current state. [SPEAKER_00]: But the good news is, it doesn't have to be that way. [SPEAKER_00]: You know that. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was, because I was going to say, do you find that that is helpful

in some ways? [SPEAKER_01]: I know for me, I still kind of, you know, have a listicle of things I had to grieve, things I had to say goodbye to. [SPEAKER_01]: And I know that, you know, sex is one of those things where, obviously, there are things that you can move those levers in a way where you're not saying, right, a sex, but for those people who do or for those people who's libido, I think, [SPEAKER_01]: Lessons over time there is this there is a real sense of grief. [SPEAKER_01]: There is I mean and and and it's so funny how It's not even just about pleasure right that that Sexual attraction is something that we love

it to strong it gets us so excited. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like getting your dopamine hit whatever When even that feeling disappears when you don't Nest is certainly like meet somebody and go wow they're hot or anything like it doesn't register [SPEAKER_01]: She won that level. [SPEAKER_01]: I think that is a real loss of identity. [SPEAKER_01]: I think that is like incredibly painful for people And it's almost like one of the things that you know, okay, let me put this on the list It doesn't mean that I'm not I'm always gonna feel this way, but I do have to acknowledge that the way that I was is You know a young person and the way I had

sex when I was younger or the had the frequency or the you know Energy or whatever it is is going to change all of these [SPEAKER_01]: changes require such an amount of, um, [SPEAKER_01]: stoic acceptance. [SPEAKER_01]: Right? [SPEAKER_01]: That's not to say that you have to, it doesn't mean you have to live with everything. [SPEAKER_01]: It means that you kind of have to take it. [SPEAKER_01]: I always think of Marcus really as an example of like be the rock in the ocean. [SPEAKER_01]: Just you don't move and that water's going to hit you and the world around you is going to be crazy and ways are going to crash against you but just stay like

the rock in the ocean. [SPEAKER_01]: You can be wet, you can get hit, [SPEAKER_01]: But the common you are to the things that are happening to you, your reaction to them, the better off the experience is going to be. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, the way in this is how our world's collide, a patient of mine described losing her attraction or her libido, or even any sense of sexual self, was the world used to be in color and now it's beige. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I was like, okay, beige is nice, but beige is like every day. [SPEAKER_00]: It's just beige, and that's the way she felt. [SPEAKER_00]: She's like, I used to see the world in color. [SPEAKER_00]:

And so obviously with their intervention, we got her seeing lots of colors. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, you have to do that. [SPEAKER_00]: Because that may be so sad. [SPEAKER_00]: And it gave me such a visual to lock on to and help me understand how sad she was about this, that that's the way she felt about herself. [SPEAKER_01]: But do you think that I just wonder culturally speaking, also if we are disconnected from our desire as women? [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, culturally, I think we've just been taught that, right? [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's your slut, if you really love having sex or all of the things that we grew up with. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not saying things

aren't changing, obviously, I think sex is changing a lot of ways for younger generations. [SPEAKER_01]: But you know, I mean, we're still talking about bodily autonomy. [SPEAKER_01]: We're still talking about bodily autonomy. [SPEAKER_01]: Still talking about abortions, I mean, it's barbaric to me that, you know, this is where we are, but at the same time, I do think that there is a real, like I see this epidemic of disconnection between mind and body in women, whether it's that we don't want to think about our body. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't want to think about our own physicality. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't think we deserve it. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't think that it's worthy of pleasure. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't think

that it's worthy of care. [SPEAKER_01]: We're just, you know, we don't think things through, we don't use our powers of reflection and scrutiny and critical thinking and we just kind of live in our bodies and women have been taught to do both but not. [SPEAKER_01]: but both kind of separately, not in connection with one another. [SPEAKER_00]: And we're very overstimulated, not sexually, but with, you know, the phones and the TV and the lights and the messaging and then, like you said, this phase of life, kids and maybe we're caring for parents and then jobs. [SPEAKER_00]: So, overstimulation, not enough time, like you said, for mindfulness or to actually be in your head. [SPEAKER_00]: And then

one of the biggest interferers or reasons that women don't have orgasm is because they cannot focus on the pleasure and they're thinking about the million things. [SPEAKER_00]: The car line, the grocery list, you know, whatever it is, the presentation I didn't get done. [SPEAKER_00]: We're done. [SPEAKER_00]: We're done. [SPEAKER_00]: We're done. [SPEAKER_00]: We're done. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Because we can't shut off the brain to the noise and focus on the pleasure. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's, you know, that's why those medications that work for desire also help with orgasm because they increase the excitation. [SPEAKER_00]: So the things that say, yes, by the dress, yes, take the trip and quiet down the things, the in the inhibition,

right? [SPEAKER_00]: But we need high inhibition or high know when we're working and we're trying to focus. [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's all about that neurochemistry of yes, no in the brain, [SPEAKER_00]: that helps us with orgasm and satisfaction and desire. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I love our conversations. [SPEAKER_00]: I swear. [SPEAKER_01]: So you just go everywhere. [SPEAKER_01]: Everywhere. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: I love it. [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's so much about it lately because again, I am such a big fan. [SPEAKER_01]: And I've known you for a while now, and I know how consistent you are in your message and in [SPEAKER_01]: in your desire to really help people, you know, and as I predicted, I've said

this to tense and fiddle many times who we both know, I was like, we knew the phase one was going to get, you know, getting people to talk about menopause, and then we knew we were going to have doctors that thought about who's right and who's wrong and who's a charlatan and who's making money and who's a grifter and all of that and I'm like, oh, [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be involved in all of that, but what I will say is that you have consistently been one of the doctors that is always called out for being, you know, like one of the kindest, most insightful and thoughtful doctors in this space. [SPEAKER_01]: And that

means a lot to me. [SPEAKER_01]: It means a lot to me. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so appreciate that. [SPEAKER_01]: But it also means a lot to me because I, like, you know, I've texted you on more than one occasion and been like, hey, I don't know what to do. [SPEAKER_01]: I have a friend who has this phone. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to do it. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm having this problem. [SPEAKER_01]: You always write me back. [SPEAKER_01]: You're so kind and I've been thinking so much about this lately in the context of community, right? [SPEAKER_01]: I always said 235 that the the the the the key word was going to be community, but I thought it was going to

be because You know, we're seeing so many things kind of feel like they're going backwards historically. [SPEAKER_01]: And yet at the same time, yes, this is not about like, oh my god, how much trauma are we all like kind of you know absorbing from the world, I just I wonder if we're even thinking about community the right way because I don't even think so much about community in terms of. [SPEAKER_01]: Who are my people, you know, like who thinks like me or whatever, I'm actually thinking now, hey, who are the group of 10 to 15 to 20 people that I'm going to keep in this tight circle where we're actually going to have to be.

[SPEAKER_01]: community that may be looking after each other's kids or pets or or watching mom who has early Alzheimer's for an afternoon while your friend has to go run to her own doctor appointment. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, these kinds of things where we really it's a village mentality. [SPEAKER_01]: I think we've gotten away from I think it's also gotten us away from being. [SPEAKER_01]: like truly creating human connection right all I read about right now is AI all I read about is like how all many of us will be replaced because of AI fantastic But I worry you know when we have men already proposing to their AI like You know blow up [SPEAKER_01]: that we,

and am I going to be, is it going to be considered some former prejudice if I were, if I had a kid, if I told my kid not to marry their robot? [SPEAKER_01]: Am I going to be like considered prejudice for being human? [SPEAKER_01]: Is that what the world is going to be like in 20 years? [SPEAKER_00]: I hope not, and I hope not in your and my lifetime, that that that that ever happens, but going back to community, I think two things. [SPEAKER_00]: I think we've been looking at it incorrectly, just as an educator in the space. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I'm frustrated because I love seeing the same people over and over again, but I

feel like there's so many other people that need to hear this message and want, you know what I'm talking about. [SPEAKER_00]: And you know what I mean, I'd say for this team. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, hello, how many times are we going to see each other for the same thing, right? [SPEAKER_01]: For the same thing. [SPEAKER_00]: And so for me, it's all about access, right? [SPEAKER_00]: I want to see a rainbow color of rooms and ages and people from different area codes and zip codes. [SPEAKER_00]: And so yes, I love seeing the same people and I love having, you know, the friends. [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, we text each other and we support each other. [SPEAKER_00]: But

I would love to see more diversity. [SPEAKER_00]: I would love to see us holding events in any lesson. [SPEAKER_00]: This Ohio girl loves coming out to New York and LA, but can we please have an event in a city Ohio we did. [SPEAKER_00]: So I spoke at power to pursue Katie Kirk came out here and do you know how many women showed up 900 [SPEAKER_00]: They don't have access because they can't from Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, and literally a Rachel Durosha's who was on the show, you know, she started power to pursue, and she's specifically going after these what we call tier two, you know, markets where there are tons of women who are just as

hungry, but maybe they can't go out to New York or California or even Chicago. [SPEAKER_01]: This is what drives me crazy, is that you and I talk about this all the time. [SPEAKER_01]: I keep saying yes, the 300 of us who I'll talk about menopause on the regular, we all know each other, and we're all talking about menopause on the regular, but it's the rest of the 300 and 20, what would that be? [SPEAKER_01]: 329 and 700. [SPEAKER_01]: 300, 700 people who are not talking about menopause. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's a whole lot just in this country, get a handle on. [SPEAKER_01]: And I say men and women and gender non-conforming folks, because there are 330

million people in this country. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think you're right. [SPEAKER_01]: The fact that menopause is taken this long to be part of the cultural conversation. [SPEAKER_01]: And now is sort of suffering [SPEAKER_01]: I want to become a viable business in vertical. [SPEAKER_01]: I think there's a lot, that's when we really need more medical voices than, quote, unquote. [SPEAKER_00]: But if we leverage that correctly, so me always, I want to take advantage of the fact that sadly, the reason we haven't had the data and the studies and we have been blown off and we don't have insurance coverage is because we haven't had the investment. [SPEAKER_00]: So if we can get the thesis to the

investment, but then we have honest people who are doing it for the right reasons, not just to flip a quick buck and you are doing it for the right reasons, you can utilize those dollars. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I've raised VC, right? [SPEAKER_00]: To your band care. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And so to me, it's like, okay, finally they're writing checks. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's use it. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get those research studies done. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get more things that are accessible. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get the medications. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get, you know, the procedures, let's start increasing the access, leveraging those dollars and sadly, you know this. [SPEAKER_00]: I made headlines when I raised money because it happens less than 2%

of the time, less than a half percent when you're [SPEAKER_00]: And gender, but I mean, and so you can leverage all those opportunities to do so much good because you know this, there's one trained provider for every almost 33,000 patients in this country. [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's why what you said the grifting and the catiness and the fighting, I mean guys, none of us can treat all of the patients. [SPEAKER_00]: They all want different, driven. [SPEAKER_00]: Someone may just want to pop on, fill out a questionnaire, get their medication. [SPEAKER_00]: Amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: Someone may want to see someone in telehealth because their next provider is 200 miles away. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe someone really wants that concierge

care. [SPEAKER_00]: We're only 100 women belong. [SPEAKER_00]: Fine. [SPEAKER_00]: Like for me, that was, that's not for me. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to treat a lot of patients. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to stay accessible. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to keep educating wherever I can. [SPEAKER_00]: And I will go, I have taken stages in Minnesota and Ohio and Kentucky and Saudi Arabia this year. [SPEAKER_00]: Who's all right? [SPEAKER_02]: Who's all right? [SPEAKER_00]: So I, that's a statement. [SPEAKER_00]: So this is a question for you. [SPEAKER_00]: Something I would have never thought I said in my 30s that I said now. [SPEAKER_00]: I spoke about menopause in Saudi Arabia. [SPEAKER_00]: I grew up in a Muslim household. [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't

talk about any of this kind of stuff. [SPEAKER_00]: So the fact that I talked about menopause in Saudi Arabia now, they did grab me before I went on stage. [SPEAKER_00]: They were like, no sex, no vagina, doctors are right, okay? [SPEAKER_00]: Like menopause, all the other symptoms of menopause, I got it. [SPEAKER_00]: No sex and no vaginas, but I did it. [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, oh my god, my husband was like the last thing you said to me When he dropped me off of the airport, he's like, baby, please don't get a rest And it's like a word [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I just wanted to ask you just to go back to that question a little

bit about leverage because, you know, my experience with VCs was fascinating. [SPEAKER_01]: It was the only time I ever felt really stupid in my life. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I was like, I did like a good could not believe how dismissive. [SPEAKER_01]: people can be particularly when it comes to money. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm curious if you find one, if you're finding more women in general in conforming folks who are VCs, if you're finding those investors now, because I know that was also something that we've been talking about in terms of democratizing the process of investing. [SPEAKER_01]: would be to have more diversity in the investors themselves, but our VCs still operating under this kind of illusion of

hockey stick money when it comes to women's health because my argument always was you can't look at women's health like you're making hockey sticks, right? [SPEAKER_01]: This is going to take a lot of money, a lot of work and a lot of time and you will not see a return [SPEAKER_01]: in the very quick and obvious way that, you know, we may cocky sticks, right? [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm curious if you've seen a shift in the landscape, the more investors understand the need for dollars behind women's research and funding and medicine in general. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, I have such a roll-a-ducks of learnings from my four years of being in VC because remember, you want

to talk about number one imposter syndrome, number two, I'm not an MDMBA. [SPEAKER_00]: So I was a girl who had bootstrapped her own business for seven years and had kept it profitable even through COVID, so that was my MBA, right, real life. [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't make it work, a lot of people are going to lose their jobs, that was my thing, people are going to lose care, and you're going to lose your shirt because you put down [SPEAKER_00]: For me, yes, I am starting to see a lot more female investors. [SPEAKER_00]: We're starting to see a lot more funds purely dedicated not only to health care, because you have to understand health care is

not transactional. [SPEAKER_00]: Health care is a relationship, and it is lifetime, right? [SPEAKER_00]: That's a great way. [SPEAKER_00]: Can that be on a school shirt because I look like you're the only doctor who has said that I allowed in a second. [SPEAKER_00]: All right. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not transactional. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not transactional. [SPEAKER_00]: So that's what you know, I. So now I've learned like everyone was like be careful. [SPEAKER_00]: Like you're going to get so excited when you get term sheets that you're just going to sign on. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like a marriage and it's like a long term, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Because then you become partners in this and this mission. [SPEAKER_00]: 10x return, you know, in

six months, it may never be a 10x return. [SPEAKER_00]: So you have to get investors number one who lock on who care. [SPEAKER_00]: This is where storytelling is so important. [SPEAKER_00]: So important. [SPEAKER_00]: So important. [SPEAKER_00]: And number two, they have to understand it's a long game. [SPEAKER_00]: And number three, I always thought it was just the founder that had to care about the mission, no, because when something goes wrong, when you're runway, not the kind of fun runway you talk about, but when you're runway of money is gone, because something happened, and you need to go to your restaurants and say, hey, listen, this happened but we learned and we're auto correcting, but I

need another bridge loan or I need another church. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And if they don't care, [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to get that money. [SPEAKER_00]: They're going to be like, we're done. [SPEAKER_00]: And so for me, lots and lots of learnings about transitions, pivots, things you need to do, and how to even survive healthcare itself with soaring costs, declining reimbursements. [SPEAKER_00]: But yes, more female funds, more female investors, and just more VCs in general, who get it and who actually are excited about getting into this space, [SPEAKER_00]: But overall, when you look at the enormity of the problems we have to solve, because I feel like we're playing catch-up, or I don't know

how many whatever you want to say, thousands of years, hundreds of years, decades of misinformation, and just being frankly ignored, we have so much catching up to do. [SPEAKER_01]: So much money, so much research, so unhelpful. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and that's what I always talk about. [SPEAKER_00]: You need lawmakers, politicians, researchers, providers, the consumer, select everybody. [SPEAKER_00]: You need on the same page echoing the same message, right? [SPEAKER_00]: This is a problem. [SPEAKER_00]: This interferes with people's lives. [SPEAKER_00]: I never want to hear again. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not going to kill her. [SPEAKER_00]: It actually could kill her. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I talk about this, you know, severe half lashes can be an indicator of underlying cardiovascular disease.

[SPEAKER_00]: What is the number one killer of women in this country? [SPEAKER_00]: Part of your afternoon is easy. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And so, um, I think it's going to take a little terrible diagnosis. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I found out I knew I had asked you a peanut, but I have asked you a process in some of my spine. [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, unfortunately, I, it really, it was the first time in this whole kind of, you know, menopause journey where I was like, oh, my God, something really bad could happen to me. [SPEAKER_01]: We talk about cognitive cardiac bone health as being the focus of postmenopause, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Like how are you taking care of yourself?

[SPEAKER_01]: And that's another reason, and it's funnily enough. [SPEAKER_01]: One of the reasons I was so excited to start a sub stack. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I don't think I'm using my brain. [SPEAKER_01]: enough. [SPEAKER_01]: Right, I will record. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not, I'm not suggesting that I'm like a slacker, but I slacker and Stacey, don't go in the same process ever. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, have to say you know. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate it. [SPEAKER_01]: Although, like if I sit on the couch for a weekend and like watch television, I might, I feel so desperately guilty afterwards. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, [SPEAKER_01]: You didn't go to a museum, you didn't read a book, you're not cultured, you're

not intellectual, but that's a whole other story. [SPEAKER_01]: I think there's no one. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to stop you right there. [SPEAKER_00]: I met a woman from Germany. [SPEAKER_00]: She taught me an amazing life lesson. [SPEAKER_00]: We were at an event for the kids and she goes, what are you doing after this? [SPEAKER_00]: Or I asked her and she goes, I'm couching. [SPEAKER_00]: I go, what is couching? [SPEAKER_00]: She goes, oh, in Germany, yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, exactly. [SPEAKER_00]: One day a week we just, you know, and she's like, I'm a cardiologist. [SPEAKER_00]: I have kids. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't get to do that, but tonight I'm couching. [SPEAKER_00]: And so once a week when I am

not traveling, we build in a half day of couching. [SPEAKER_00]: where it's not Netflix again chilling because I know that has other connotation. [SPEAKER_00]: But that's my husband and I, who's a mental oncologist, we have built that into our life. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, and let me tell you, it has been transformative. [SPEAKER_00]: They see, and I cannot sit still. [SPEAKER_00]: My mother used to call me the Energizer Bunny because I was like constantly going, it has been a bad thing. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I see. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I need to come and couch with you, but because all I've ever seen you do is be on the go and running around. [SPEAKER_01]: And it's so funny that

you say that too. [SPEAKER_01]: that I really do believe in. [SPEAKER_01]: I believe in that idea of scheduled rest. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, but there's a difference between the kind of conscious choice that omits the workouts or eating well or taking care of our health or you know doing things that are good preventative health care, things like that. [SPEAKER_01]: There is a way in which to turn the kind of rotting in bed or lying on the couch into, well, a way to make yourself feel bad, right, to say you're being lazy or whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: But like I just noticed, for example, that it has been raining on the East Coast quite a bit this summer, and most

of me and June was some iteration of rain. [SPEAKER_01]: After last week, I was upstate for three days and it was just pouring rain and I came back and I feel like I had like a truly depressive episode. [SPEAKER_01]: It was five days where I just couldn't get off the couch. [SPEAKER_01]: I just couldn't do it. [SPEAKER_01]: It was like that thing of [SPEAKER_01]: No, I wish I could, I wish I was a better person, I could go to a gallery and be more intellectual. [SPEAKER_01]: It was like, I'm not sure I can get up and brush my teeth. [SPEAKER_01]: It was that overwhelming. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think part, I wrote about it actually on

substeck that I feel like it was like season a lot of effective disorder. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not used to this much gray and rain for this long in the summer. [SPEAKER_01]: And it really, like you don't want to go outside because you're just eaten alive by mosquitoes. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like living in the rainforest. [SPEAKER_01]: The dogs hate it. [SPEAKER_01]: So they found the most violent show I could find on television that was all about female rage. [SPEAKER_01]: I highly recommend yellow jackets if you can handle the violence, but I know I'm behind. [SPEAKER_01]: I know there's been a few seasons, but I felt like I really had to do that and then I had to call

a friend and say, help me. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm in a bad spot and by isolating and by not calling in my community and by not calling my friends and saying, whoa, something's up with me and I'm not okay. [SPEAKER_01]: I sat in that isolation until I finally realized like I'm not going to be able to get up and go to work if I don't get somebody that kind of helped me get out of this. [SPEAKER_01]: And it really was [SPEAKER_01]: It really was interesting. [SPEAKER_01]: I have not had that kind of experience since I was like really deep in Perryman of plots and it was frightening. [SPEAKER_01]: It really, it is so alienating. [SPEAKER_00]: It, as

seasons affect me so deeply, I hate the winter. [SPEAKER_00]: I was born in the summer. [SPEAKER_00]: I was just telling my husband, I am such a summer baby. [SPEAKER_00]: I love summer mornings. [SPEAKER_00]: I love being outside. [SPEAKER_00]: I love the sunshine. [SPEAKER_00]: The hotter the better, although lately, it's been way too hot even for me and my hair. [SPEAKER_00]: But I read, [SPEAKER_00]: I read that and I so resonated with what you had written about the gray. [SPEAKER_00]: It's why I love Seattle. [SPEAKER_00]: I could never live there, though. [SPEAKER_00]: Like it didn't even London. [SPEAKER_00]: My brother was there for a couple of years and he's like a way to gray. [SPEAKER_00]: Even

in the summer, it's gray and raining. [SPEAKER_00]: And so it can profoundly, profoundly affect people's moods. [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm glad you had community. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sad that you were so sad. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it happens, you know. [SPEAKER_00]: But isn't it interesting that people see us on stages or the CS on, you know, you on TV or outside and they think we're so gregarious and happy all the time, but we definitely have those moments of isolation or mayday I need help. [SPEAKER_01]: And I, you know, especially if you've got a public persona, like I certainly know if you come ask me to speak on a panel for me to talk about having a five day depressive

episode where I was lying on the couch, you know, crying at dog commercials and watching yellow jackets, you might think, [SPEAKER_01]: I don't really want to hear about that, like I've got my own problems, you know, and so I always, I really do truly try to make, you know, anything that I do in public, something worthwhile for people, something that doesn't mean I'm acting, but I'm certainly not going to bring all my personal shit to a public event where people are looking for answers or help or support. [SPEAKER_01]: It seems kind of [SPEAKER_01]: like ungrateful to show up and be like, I'm a mess, you know what I mean? [SPEAKER_00]: But when I do, or

it makes you look more authentic and transparent and approachable, because think about a women are coming to you, just like they're coming to me, and they're sharing the things that they're insecure about, or don't like about themselves. [SPEAKER_00]: And that takes courage. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: It's courage. [SPEAKER_01]: And I have so much sympathy and empathy for that. [SPEAKER_01]: But I feel like if you were paying $20 or whatever to come here, us speak. [SPEAKER_01]: For me to be like, so me, please help me. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm the one in trouble. [SPEAKER_01]: Forget about this audience. [SPEAKER_01]: You somehow unfair to the audience. [SPEAKER_01]: You don't even mean so I'm always trying to, and not, not put,

not, [SPEAKER_01]: Not fake it. [SPEAKER_01]: It's a wrong way to say it, but I feel like I have an LCA part of me, which I call light camera action, which means that regardless of how sad I am or if I'm upset about something, the minute you say you're on, whatever I'm feeling goes away. [SPEAKER_01]: I can push that into the back of my head and the task at hand is the task at hand. [SPEAKER_01]: Same thing with like, if I had broken my foot, but you said to me, nope, you've got to stand up at that podium for an hour and give a speech. [SPEAKER_01]: I will not feel my foot until I'm off the

stage. [SPEAKER_01]: So I have this way of compartmentalizing things to that sometimes I think creates a fissure in who I am versus who I think I'm supposed to be. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think a lot of us struggle with that and a lot of this whole kind of mid-life menopause conversation is about shedding that shell in a way, right? [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, there's the difference between courtesy and kindness and lack of boundaries where you're allowing people to take up your time in space when you don't physiologically or psychologically feel you can manage it, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Those are different things. [SPEAKER_01]: But I think if you do this long enough, and you do have our kind of

energy, and you are regarious, right? [SPEAKER_01]: People do forget that there are days where it's like, I can't do it. [SPEAKER_00]: No, I'm an extroverted introvert. [SPEAKER_00]: I learned that, but I've just recently learned that. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I can do it and I want to be bad. [SPEAKER_02]: You're not introvert. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: But I think I learned that skill. [SPEAKER_00]: You learned it because you were on TV and you were very public facing. [SPEAKER_00]: For me, I had to learn it in surgery because no, no matter if I had just had a fight with my husband, I was upset with whatever. [SPEAKER_00]: Or I was sad I had to go in and

do that surgery because that patient deserves the best surgeon that was going to show up that day. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I would want. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I would want for my family members. [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's when I learned to do that. [SPEAKER_00]: And then now I've learned the same thing when I'm on stage or I have to present no matter what is going on. [SPEAKER_00]: I will tell you when I come off of a long trip like where I've been on stage for a couple of days, I will go home and I will I'll call it couching. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to get to dinner. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't want to see neighbors. [SPEAKER_00]:

They're like, oh, some is home, but she's not gonna go for a day or two. [SPEAKER_01]: All right, still me's home, but don't bother her. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's exactly right. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I think part of the reason the last three weeks, I could feel myself kind of going downhill was the weather, but I've also been on the road for four months. [SPEAKER_01]: So I was non-stop and I think my body was like forget it. [SPEAKER_01]: We're done. [SPEAKER_00]: We're done here You have got to lie down, but say see, did you do what I did listen to what I did my husband's like this is why When you are not busy and traveling you

are dangerous So do you know what I've done in the last three weeks that I have been I haven't even been off I've been seeing patients and and helping with you know running her MD Please tell me it's been like shopping for amazing shit [UNKNOWN]: I got a puppy. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god. [SPEAKER_01]: First of all, I'm so scared for you because life is always better with the dog. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, I love dog. [SPEAKER_00]: I would love dog. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not talking to me right now. [SPEAKER_01]: My dog because I took her for two short walk before I had to go to an appointment. [SPEAKER_01]: And when I came back, I was like,

I've got to do the podcast. [SPEAKER_01]: Now we'll go out afterwards and she gave me such [SPEAKER_01]: All right, it's like a judgmental three year old who is never gonna grow up and take care of me. [SPEAKER_00]: She's like, yeah, forget you. [SPEAKER_00]: It's been raining and now it's finally nice enough to go outside and you won't take me outside. [SPEAKER_00]: No, it can be. [SPEAKER_00]: Stacey, this was not my fault. [SPEAKER_00]: So we've always had two dogs. [SPEAKER_00]: We unfortunately had to put one down in December and it was a, it happens, I know and so I was like, okay. [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make it an easier and in the veterinary even said she's

like this is one of the oldest branches I've ever put down. [SPEAKER_00]: You took really good care of her and so I went to puppy yoga. [SPEAKER_00]: When, and the dog breed, I swear to you, this is like the universe. [SPEAKER_00]: They don't tell you till four days before. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: And I can't come to Puppy Yoga with you. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm telling you, if you're ever depressed, you come, I will, yes, Puppy Yoga. [SPEAKER_00]: And so you don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: I had signed up for it because my daughter was leaving for camp. [SPEAKER_00]: And it was Father's Day weekend. [SPEAKER_00]: And literally we shop and it's Frenchies. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was

like, I am done. [SPEAKER_00]: So that was, that was Saturday. [SPEAKER_00]: By Tuesday, the new puppy, Gusto, from the movie Rated Toe, we call him Gus or Gus Gus? [SPEAKER_00]: Tuesday, my husband was like, man, girl, when you decide something is going to happen, it happens. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, yep. [SPEAKER_00]: And he goes, I can't believe I said yes. [SPEAKER_00]: And he said yes in a moment of weakness. [SPEAKER_00]: And but can I just tell you, Stacy, a number one, I have never fallen in love this quickly. [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, I need to my hobby. [SPEAKER_00]: And number two, he is just like part of the family. [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, he's in like Flynn.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm great. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, listen. [SPEAKER_01]: There are just choices there, right? [SPEAKER_01]: That you know they're right to many and make them. [SPEAKER_01]: I am one of those people who always has like decision regret, but I realize that's because I'm overwhelmed by choice, right? [SPEAKER_01]: I get choice decision paralysis and then once I make a choice, I'm like, there were a thousand other things that I could have choose. [SPEAKER_01]: They probably would have been better. [SPEAKER_01]: What kind of thinking is that? [SPEAKER_01]: That is not helping. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like once you make that like what I love is when you make a choice and you're like Damn I'm good and everything. [SPEAKER_01]:

We're not exactly the way you thought it was going to and I'm so happy to hear that's with the puppy You know, I was going to foster this is eight and a half years ago I was gonna foster Dora for two days eight and a half years later She's still untrained and a terrorist [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just kidding. [SPEAKER_01]: Look at what kind of dog is she? [SPEAKER_01]: She is a morky. [SPEAKER_01]: She is a lethal morky with teeth that are so flat and dull that when she bites you, she can bring skin and she does bite people but generally speaking her teeth are too dull to like actually break skin. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, we,

um, no, we are dog lovers for sure. [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely love them. [SPEAKER_00]: But I was like, oh my god, he's going to chew up everything. [SPEAKER_00]: There's going to be poop and pee everywhere. [SPEAKER_00]: And literally he's been sleeping through the night, since we've gotten him. [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, he already plays fetch. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, seriously, our 14-year-old Maltipu is like, what have you done to me? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, he just looks at me. [SPEAKER_01]: 14-year-old Maltipu, so you raise him and you raise him old. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah, I raise them all. [SPEAKER_00]: We keep them healthy and we keep them active, but he is like wanting no part of that. [SPEAKER_00]: He just looks at

me like seriously. [SPEAKER_00]: Like what have you done? [SPEAKER_00]: I had peace in the world. [SPEAKER_00]: So we're going to do some rapid fire before we wrap up, okay? [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry. [SPEAKER_00]: I know this is super like catching up. [SPEAKER_00]: I know, it's like, it doesn't even feel like work, right? [SPEAKER_00]: That's when it's the best. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that's when you know you found your people. [SPEAKER_00]: That's when you know, right? [SPEAKER_00]: This is always what we, so happy. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, rapid fire. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Midlife Anthem, what is your song, your jam and two right now? [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, I can't remember the name of it. [SPEAKER_01]: It's called Fabrit

and I'm going to tell you who sings it. [SPEAKER_01]: It was a friend of mine made me a playlist, which honestly, I was like, are you giving me a mix tape? [SPEAKER_00]: I was just about to say, mix tape girl, that's what we grew up with. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: No, it was the sweetest, sweetest thing. [SPEAKER_01]: And hold on, I'm going to, I am looking this up for you right now because I don't, I'll give you misinformation. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to give you the right information. [SPEAKER_01]: It's called fevered by Isabel Loroza. [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm gonna have to listen to that on the way home. [SPEAKER_01]: And profit by King Princess. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: I

mean, I'm gonna send you this, I'm gonna send you this playlist. [SPEAKER_01]: I please do. [SPEAKER_01]: I am, I'm texting it to you right now. [SPEAKER_01]: My friend made this for me and it's so good that I feel like I should just, I should just send it to you. [SPEAKER_00]: A word you never want associated with my napa's ever ever again. [SPEAKER_00]: Sad. [SPEAKER_00]: Finish this sentence. [SPEAKER_00]: Style is still relevant. [SPEAKER_00]: Most underrated part of aging. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I think the most underrated part is still the part that's most talked about, which is wisdom, like STEM, I love that. [SPEAKER_01]: Lived experience is not is a different kind of wisdom than reading a

book. [SPEAKER_01]: It's sort of that speech that that in good will hunting, that Robin Williams gives to Matt Damon is like, you could quote me Shakespeare, but you don't know what it's like to be in love. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I love that. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, if menopause had a dress code, what would you burn and what would you keep? [SPEAKER_01]: That's such a good question. [SPEAKER_01]: I would burn anything that didn't fit. [SPEAKER_01]: I would burn anything that, you know, because of body weight redistribution or boobs get bigger or tummy get bigger and yes, we can control some of that stuff, but not all of it. [SPEAKER_01]: So any item of clothing that made you feel great

when you were younger that makes you feel a grief and a sense of loss now get rid of it. [SPEAKER_01]: I would also, I guess, the thing that I really think looks the best on people going through menopause is a sense of wonder and curiosity and interest in learning because nothing about us is static. [SPEAKER_01]: Everything is evolutionary. [SPEAKER_01]: So why wouldn't we give ourselves the opportunity to redefine our personal style? [SPEAKER_01]: Listen, every seven years we have new cells our whole body is new. [SPEAKER_01]: So why not, just make it every seven years, check in with yourself. [SPEAKER_01]: see if what you feel about the way that you are presenting yourself in menopause gives

you the same feeling it did at 25. [SPEAKER_01]: And if it doesn't, find the things that make you feel good and proud and exceptional. [SPEAKER_00]: 10 years from now, if we get this right, what is health care, culture and power? [SPEAKER_00]: Look like for women in menopause. [SPEAKER_01]: Health care is free. [SPEAKER_01]: Cultures the matriarchy, and we have a woman president. [SPEAKER_00]: I love the last one so much, I'm like, yes, please in my lifetime, please. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, that's, I want all world leaders to be female, female identifying or gender non-conforming. [SPEAKER_01]: I just think it's time for the straight man to step aside. [SPEAKER_00]: If people want, I wish all of you

could have Stacey's a friend, because I'm going to tell you a little quick story because we've already gone way over and like stepping up for people. [SPEAKER_00]: So we were in an event together, I think, South by. [SPEAKER_00]: And Stacey was in the most adorable jacket, adorable. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was sharing with her, because in the green room, that's when we can like catch up. [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, oh, I'm taking my 15-year-old. [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be her 16th birthday. [SPEAKER_00]: We're going on a trip. [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to Portugal on Paris. [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, I mentioned that she would love her jacket. [SPEAKER_00]: Stacy, you want to talk about people who literally

take the clothing off their back. [SPEAKER_00]: She sent it to me and not only sent it to me, but in time for the trip. [SPEAKER_00]: So I have these beautiful pictures of my daughter in Portugal in this jacket and she adores it to this day and she's like, it will fit and I was like, yeah, she's a little pixie. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: Stacy, you are so tall. [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, so thank you for that. [SPEAKER_00]: What are you talking about? [SPEAKER_00]: When you see me, I'm wearing like four-inch heels. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm getting little or I'm a little worried that the osteoporosis in my spine is making me shorter But I did

start transfusions and I did and now I'm taking extra citrical every day too [SPEAKER_00]: And you need to be doing your weight bearing exercise and you need to be lifting weights. [SPEAKER_00]: And so Stacey's risk factor is even though she's not saying she's tall, as my daughter is five foot and I'm five foot two. [SPEAKER_00]: So when you were, yes, so when you were a Caucasian and you were of lean built, which Stacey is. [SPEAKER_00]: And notice I didn't say skinny because I don't want, I don't want that connotation right? [SPEAKER_00]: Lean built because you can be very strong. [SPEAKER_00]: But lean built. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so that increases her risk and then the fact that

she's metapuzzle, also increases risk. [SPEAKER_00]: And the reason it's so important is that you were talking about bone brain and heart. [SPEAKER_00]: So I like to talk about the invisible and visible symptoms of menopause. [SPEAKER_00]: So what we're really trying to do with hormones or with other changes in your life, like protein and lifting weights and treating it the osteo. [SPEAKER_00]: process is really trying to prevent disease. [SPEAKER_00]: Bone brain heart are the invisible symptoms of menopause. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, yes, you have the brain fog, but there are changes that we now see that are separate and distinct in the brain from aging that we know are likely because we have estrogen and receptors in the

brain. [SPEAKER_00]: So for those of us who are candidates for hormone therapy, if people say, well, I'm through it, I don't have any symptoms. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, no, no, no. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, women live longer, but in poorer health. [SPEAKER_00]: Who wants to live a long life where you're sick for most of it at the end? [SPEAKER_00]: Like I want to be dancing and climbing mountains and traveling in the world. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just, yes, so I'm glad that you're getting treatment because the mortality risk. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, sorry. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to hear the more telly. [SPEAKER_01]: I was just saying that that was the thing. [SPEAKER_01]: I was on this

quest. [SPEAKER_01]: Really, since I've gotten so involved in menopause and supporting those going through it and wanting to be helpful to doctors and anyway, all of the things, right? [SPEAKER_01]: I really started to care so much more about my health. [SPEAKER_01]: It's why the way bearing exercises became more important. [SPEAKER_01]: Not because I'm like, oh, I want to be skinny. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to be able to walk when I'm 85. [SPEAKER_01]: And now, getting that diagnosis, I did the MRI for brain scan, just to make sure there were no white patches. [SPEAKER_01]: I did all the heart testing I could do. [SPEAKER_01]: And I did a full body MRI. [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to get a

baseline of information. [SPEAKER_01]: So at 55, I was ready to go with this list of all the things that did all my blood work, did everything. [SPEAKER_01]: Just so I would be able to track changes from here [SPEAKER_01]: The one place where they were like, you are not in good health, I was so disappointed to find out it was bone health because, you know, I was like, wow, I am not always been kind to my body, I am not taking good care of her, I do realize now like this vessel has been carrying around my soul and I have not been kind. [SPEAKER_01]: in any way to her, you know, I've starved her, I've put

her through hell, I've done all so I've, I've raged all night at parties with her, I've done way too many things that weren't healthy for her. [SPEAKER_01]: And to think that at 56, like my bones got softer, they're brittle or they're porous because I didn't do better is hurt wrenching to me. [SPEAKER_00]: But you can, but I know, and I'm so sad, but it's, you can do something about it. [SPEAKER_00]: You can still interact with you. [SPEAKER_00]: You can make it better. [SPEAKER_00]: And even, I don't know if you saw a study that just came out two weeks ago about a regular exercise can reverse cardiovascular changes by like 20 years. [SPEAKER_00]: I was shocked

by that data. [SPEAKER_00]: I actually have to read the study. [SPEAKER_00]: And so you know you can still reduce your risk of fracture with interventions, with everything that you're doing, with lifestyle and medication. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm trying training flexibility training and stability training, because you want to prevent falls because I have a trainer who does flexibility and stability and a trainer who does weight training. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's not to be like, great, you need a trainer for everything, go spend all that money. [SPEAKER_01]: I just find it, I'm now very concerned about hurting myself and I'm really trying to practice form. [SPEAKER_01]: So I like somebody there that kind of smack me on the

back [SPEAKER_01]: straight in that back, that's not the right kind of plank. [SPEAKER_01]: I respond to a little bit of like drill sergeant energy, I think. [SPEAKER_00]: But those are the Fs I'm going to joke that you need to care about, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Falls, fracture, flexibility, frailty, like those are the Fs we should give right now. [SPEAKER_00]: Like we should care about and do something about, right? [SPEAKER_00]: That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, [SPEAKER_01]: You just came full fucking circle excuse me, but I had to use the effort because, now, where would ever the F you want and, you know, think about all the Fs that you have to worry that you should have, right? [SPEAKER_00]: That you should have. [SPEAKER_00]: These are the only Fs you're going to care about now. [SPEAKER_00]: Where can people find you love? [SPEAKER_00]: Where can people find you? [SPEAKER_01]: I would love for you to sign up for my new sub-stack, which is Stacey London.substack.com. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm really, I'm really interested in that right now, and obviously, where would

every day if you want, is on prime video on Amazon. [SPEAKER_01]: And we did the first season, which was eight episodes, we're waiting to hear if we're gonna get renewed. [SPEAKER_01]: And then I'm on QVC, my clothing line is on QVC.com. [SPEAKER_01]: As you mentioned, that was a metallic reversible bomber jacket that I got for your dog. [SPEAKER_01]: Amazing. [SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot I would tell you I I I have been on a real shopping kick lately now This is not what I've been hearing how unstable our our future looks like in America But I also feel like I've been getting a lot of joy out of things lately right to I kept saying I'm

not in my acquisitive phase anymore. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm in my inquisitive phase. [SPEAKER_01]: That's prismanipost [SPEAKER_01]: I yearn to learn. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm curious about everything. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to be the dumbest person in every room, but I'm not going to say that I completely out of my aquisitive phase, because let me tell you from my birthday. [SPEAKER_01]: I got this amazing else-apparatting necklace. [SPEAKER_01]: Mmm, Jessica. [SPEAKER_01]: So, what there was a point to all of this, which was to say where I could find you. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: Right. [SPEAKER_01]: Where can you find me? [SPEAKER_01]: So, I've been talking a lot about shopping recently on my sub-stack, and I've been talking a lot about my pieces

on QVC because [SPEAKER_01]: it's summer, it's Christmas and July, you're going to get the best prices ever because everything goes on clearance sale. [SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, my feeling is we took a lot of chances in this first year with the Vice-Stacy London Line at QVC, we were fashion forward, much more so than their core customer, we've learned a lot and the learning curve was steep, but I really believe with all of my heart. [SPEAKER_01]: If you are at that pre or Perry Metapuzzle Journey, [SPEAKER_01]: like clothing is meant to make your life easier. [SPEAKER_01]: It's meant to make you look good without any of the effort. [SPEAKER_01]: And that can be soothing, that can

be t-shirts, that can be all sorts of things, just with a little bit more intentionality, so that even when you're going through the hardest stuff in menopause, you don't have to feel like you look that way. [SPEAKER_00]: I love that. [SPEAKER_00]: And so the message for today is we can do this, but we have to do it together. [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much, Daisy. [SPEAKER_00]: We're being a fellow disruptor with me. [SPEAKER_00]: This is more than a conversation. [SPEAKER_00]: It's a call, a call to build something better. [SPEAKER_00]: Subscribe, share, and bring more disruptors into this room. [SPEAKER_00]: For unfiltered insights and bold ideas, go to DrSomeet.com to sign up for the monthly disruptor newsletter

and follow us on social at DrSomeet. [SPEAKER_00]: We're not waiting for a seat at the table. [SPEAKER_00]: We're building our own table.