Why High-Achieving Women Feel Stuck in Midlife: How To Overcome Burnout & Reclaim Your Power w/ Christina Langdon

[SPEAKER_00]: We have to know who we are, and who we're becoming. [SPEAKER_00]: The difference between people who are successful and not are the people who stay and believe even when they don't see the results. [SPEAKER_01]: Christina Langdon is a high performance coach, executives call when they need clarity and an author known for simple framework sets deck. [SPEAKER_00]: when someone's coming to coaching in that midlife rift, it's about knowing ourselves and getting a little bit more connected. [SPEAKER_01]: You've coached type performers who love everyone and they love themselves. [SPEAKER_01]: What does self-regard look like in action? [SPEAKER_00]: What I had to learn is the job, the title, are not in charge of yourself or [SPEAKER_00]: and

it told you, believe that in your bones, you can't become more. [SPEAKER_00]: When someone says to you, I'll feel like myself. [SPEAKER_00]: What do you check in with? [SPEAKER_00]: I often times want people to see who they are at their finest. [SPEAKER_00]: We can quickly lose our power and fall into the lack of confidence, which is why we have everyday practices building us up to lead others with impact. [SPEAKER_01]: You've had sick at the top of your career. [SPEAKER_01]: What habits became non-negotiable? [SPEAKER_01]: I will never [SPEAKER_01]: Hi, Kristina. [SPEAKER_01]: Hi, Dr. Somi. [SPEAKER_01]: How are you today? [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for having me. [SPEAKER_01]: I couldn't be more excited to see you again. [SPEAKER_01]:

I know I'm so excited to see you again. [SPEAKER_01]: So let's get right into it because we're both busy ladies. [SPEAKER_01]: What's the core principle that anchors your coaching that's your absolute non-negotiable? [SPEAKER_00]: We have to know who we are, and we have to know [SPEAKER_00]: That's my non-negotiable. [SPEAKER_00]: I've got some strengths. [SPEAKER_00]: I got some weaknesses. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to know what those strengths are. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to know what those weaknesses are. [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to know where I'm going and who I'm becoming. [SPEAKER_00]: It is an active practice I have to do on myself every single day. [SPEAKER_01]: So when a leader like me says, hey, listen, I'm successful, but

I'm really spread to then. [SPEAKER_01]: Where do you start? [SPEAKER_01]: Do you start with language? [SPEAKER_01]: Do you start with their calendar? [SPEAKER_01]: Or do you start with their commitments? [SPEAKER_00]: That is such a good question. [SPEAKER_00]: Well, your audience and a lot of my audience are really in good life, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: Women who have become so many things, right? [SPEAKER_00]: We've become many of us college graduates. [SPEAKER_00]: Many of us become wives. [SPEAKER_00]: We become moms. [SPEAKER_00]: We become rising leaders. [SPEAKER_00]: We become caretakers to our parents. [SPEAKER_00]: And in mid-life, all of a sudden, we turn around and we're like, who have I become? [SPEAKER_00]: And are my gonna become? [SPEAKER_00]:

What am I gonna become? [SPEAKER_00]: Most of the people that come to me have that each of, [SPEAKER_00]: It was really about looking at, no, this isn't it. [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, we have the back nine of our life to live. [SPEAKER_00]: And how do we want to live it? [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really about planning for the future, seeing the future, creating the future, dreaming, your the big dreamer, dreaming of the future that I help people most with when they're feeling depleted. [SPEAKER_01]: It's so interesting that you said that, particularly because you and I both have a huge audience of midlife women. [SPEAKER_01]: And there's this term that's been going around, I actually got to watch

an Oprah taping last year and it was about grade divorce. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think I saw a couple headlines floating around and a lot of the psychologists and doctors that are hearing this are saying because women and men are saying, is this it? [SPEAKER_01]: So I think it's professionally and personally people are saying I'm gonna live a lot longer is this really where I want to be either with the person I'm sleeping next to and building a life with or the people that I'm building my work dreams with. [SPEAKER_01]: So it's so funny. [SPEAKER_01]: And I always talk about what goes on in the bedroom affects the board room. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think the opposite

is true as well. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I never thought about it from that perspective. [SPEAKER_01]: We should call it something else though when it comes to work. [SPEAKER_01]: Like grade divorce applies to your personal relationships. [SPEAKER_01]: But I wonder what you could call it when it comes to your career. [SPEAKER_01]: Because I know people talk about second careers or second chapter. [SPEAKER_01]: But I think we should point something else. [SPEAKER_00]: I call it like a little bit like the midlife rift. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I like that. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just rift that we're in. [SPEAKER_00]: And we want to bridge the gap of where we are now and where we want to go

to. [SPEAKER_00]: But we first have to see it. [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of women think that there is impossibilities. [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of women think that that's it. [SPEAKER_00]: This is it. [SPEAKER_00]: And when we go, I could never do that. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, no, I could never do that. [SPEAKER_00]: Here at all of the time. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's just usually fear talking. [SPEAKER_00]: And fear talks like that. [SPEAKER_01]: So what do high performers consistently overestimate and what do they consistently ignore? [SPEAKER_00]: They consistently ignore their fears. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's, we make it a habit to do what we're comfortable in. [SPEAKER_00]: And we make a habit to stay in our routines. [SPEAKER_00]: Like five to eight

hours of what we do every day is simply done on routine. [SPEAKER_00]: Like we brush our teeth, that's a routine, right? [SPEAKER_00]: And so what we ignore is actually breaking out of the habits and saying I wanna do things differently. [SPEAKER_00]: and it's scary. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how I'm going to do it. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm going to take the leap. [SPEAKER_00]: Fiers are always your calling. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking about the fear of getting physically hurt. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about the fear of the unknown, and it's usually a calling. [SPEAKER_00]: And when we hear another way of looking at it, when we allow our fears to make

decisions for ourselves, [SPEAKER_01]: mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think I'm extraordinarily afraid of boredom. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I just don't want to be bored. [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's why I chose to became an O.G.I.N. [SPEAKER_01]: in the first place because it was like a one-day surgery, one-day procedures, one-day consults, one-day delivering babies like [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want my day-to-day to look the same. [SPEAKER_01]: I needed excitement. [SPEAKER_01]: I needed something different. [SPEAKER_01]: So, someone's a new to coaching, and they're your new client, and walk us through your 30, 60, 90 with them, or what changes first, second, and third for them. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's about getting that inner knowing, reignited. [SPEAKER_00]: We've typically when someone's coming to

coaching in that midlife rift and where they've become so much and they're saying is this it. [SPEAKER_00]: It's about renewing ourselves, re-understanding ourselves. [SPEAKER_00]: It's about awakening ourselves and getting a little bit more connected. [SPEAKER_00]: How we do that is we first look back. [SPEAKER_00]: So we're not planning our future from the past, but the past holds so many clues to our success. [SPEAKER_00]: So we look for those clues to success by mining them. [SPEAKER_00]: In my book for success sake, I have an exercise and it's called The Tens. [SPEAKER_00]: And I ask clients to answer each question. [SPEAKER_00]: There are six of them. [SPEAKER_00]: I ask you to answer them 10 times. [SPEAKER_00]: And

it's a discovery exercise. [SPEAKER_00]: And most people have trouble with it. [SPEAKER_00]: You wouldn't think six questions, 10 answers. [SPEAKER_00]: But there are people, most people, who have trouble finishing 10 answers per question. [SPEAKER_00]: And really, that's the, that's when you know you're on to something. [SPEAKER_00]: Because when you can't answer that eight or ninth time, [SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, that's where you got to go. [SPEAKER_00]: You got to spend some time going. [SPEAKER_00]: And what we do is we really work on we look from an auditor's point of view. [SPEAKER_00]: We look at what those answers are sharing with us, telling us that the first question I typically ask after reading the tens is what were

you surprised by? [SPEAKER_00]: Most people say they were surprised by all they've accomplished. [SPEAKER_00]: They're surprised by, [SPEAKER_00]: how happy they were at one point. [SPEAKER_00]: They were surprised by their achievements. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's because we don't take the time to stop and actually reflect. [SPEAKER_00]: And then we decide, okay, what are these, what of these clues that we've agreed on together through the tens? [SPEAKER_00]: Which one of these do we wanna take into our future? [SPEAKER_01]: And I think for me, it was when we first met, I didn't even understand what an executive coach was. [SPEAKER_01]: It's because I was a physician, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Jumping into the business role. [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like,

can you explain to me what a coach does? [SPEAKER_01]: And I took it as an insult when my team was like, well, we want 80 at coaching. [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, why don't I need coaching? [SPEAKER_01]: Did I do something wrong? [SPEAKER_01]: Because, you know, as a doctor, when you have to usually go before M&M or you're presenting something that happened badly and surgery. [SPEAKER_01]: for me, the first step of coaching was understanding what a coach does. [SPEAKER_01]: And then I was like, oh, this makes a lot of sense. [SPEAKER_00]: And I talked to a lot of people that haven't worked with a coach. [SPEAKER_00]: When I was growing up in my 30 years

of corporate, if you got a coach, it was considered a penalty. [SPEAKER_00]: It was, it's your, like, you must be doing something wrong. [SPEAKER_00]: But my greatest leap, [SPEAKER_00]: was when I had a coach. [SPEAKER_00]: When I was given a coach, when I thought it was a penalty, I ended up getting my first major corrosion from it. [SPEAKER_00]: So a coach today is focused on your future and focused on creating that future for you and reverse engineering for it. [SPEAKER_00]: A coach is your thought partner. [SPEAKER_00]: It's somebody who cares only about you in that moment. [SPEAKER_00]: So I work with a lot of CEOs, [SPEAKER_00]: And the being a CEO, you know this only.

[SPEAKER_00]: It is the loneliest job there is. [SPEAKER_01]: You need to say that again, because I think that is when I have felt the loneliest in my life is when, I mean, it was fun. [SPEAKER_01]: I like leading, but it is a lonelely job. [SPEAKER_00]: And so who are you going to talk to? [SPEAKER_00]: You can't talk to your C-suite. [SPEAKER_00]: You can't talk to your leaders because you want to present as though you're on it. [SPEAKER_00]: You've got this, you are their biggest supporter. [SPEAKER_00]: You're championing your people. [SPEAKER_01]: And when you're on it, you can't really talk to your board, either. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, never. [SPEAKER_01]: No, because you're handling their money. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh,

no, because they actually, back to, no, that's a whole different relationship. [SPEAKER_01]: But we're thinking about it. [SPEAKER_01]: When I was working with you, it's the first time I was C-suite. [SPEAKER_01]: It was the first time I was a CEO. [SPEAKER_01]: I raised 40 million under Christina as a minority woman. [SPEAKER_01]: I was on my first board. [SPEAKER_01]: I was a CEO. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, wow, you and I have been through. [SPEAKER_01]: into a lot. [SPEAKER_01]: So you've coach type performers like me who love everyone better than they love themselves. [SPEAKER_01]: God that was me too. [SPEAKER_01]: What does self regard look like in action when life gets really loud and how do you get a

client to practice that? [SPEAKER_00]: When I was in corporate, I started out as a sales person. [SPEAKER_00]: And I wanted to get the MVP of the year, seller of the year, every single year, but what happens in January is you start from zero again. [SPEAKER_00]: Climb was hyper-veiled to vigilant. [SPEAKER_00]: I was hyper-responsible. [SPEAKER_00]: And on the outside, it looked like I was so ambitious. [SPEAKER_00]: When on the inside, it was really toxic insecurity. [SPEAKER_00]: So, my self-regard was very, very low, and what I had to learn, and what a lot of people I work with have to learn, is the job, the title, the job description, other people that you work with, they are

not in charge of your self-worth. [SPEAKER_00]: So, your self-worth isn't your job. [SPEAKER_00]: Your self-worth, you are born with it. [SPEAKER_00]: You are worthy. [SPEAKER_00]: And until we understand that we are worthy just the way we are and a lot of times when people say they're trying to become successful and they're just not sure how to define it or they're like, well, what is enough, well enough is right now you are enough just the way you are and until you believe that in your bones, you can't become more. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's what happened to me. [SPEAKER_01]: When I say, you know, there's people who lose themselves in relationships or in motherhood or a job. [SPEAKER_01]:

When I say I lost myself and myself identity in the company, I completely did, because when we were winning, I was winning. [SPEAKER_01]: But when we were losing, [SPEAKER_01]: I felt completely and utterly hopeless, despite all of the, I don't know, 115,000 outcomes and published posters we had and all the states we got to. [SPEAKER_01]: It was that focus on the one thing that didn't go correctly, right? [SPEAKER_01]: The one thing that went badly that was the hardest [SPEAKER_01]: voice in my head. [SPEAKER_01]: And so when someone says to you, Christina, I just, I don't feel like myself. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, where do you even start with a coach? [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what do you ask them?

[SPEAKER_01]: What do you check in with when they say that to you? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to answer that by starting with, we value our losses at a rate that is two times. [SPEAKER_00]: Our wins. [SPEAKER_00]: That was you, Somi. [SPEAKER_00]: Your losses were so much bigger. [SPEAKER_00]: Then you're countless numbers of wins. [SPEAKER_00]: So that's a first awakening, let's say, of awareness. [SPEAKER_00]: When you're coaching people that are coming from that place, it's helping them to see how they're weighing things. [SPEAKER_00]: I spoke to a woman just earlier today. [SPEAKER_00]: I've worked with her in the past and she's come back now. [SPEAKER_00]: And what I could hear was that while she was speaking, she

had lost her voice. [SPEAKER_00]: And I asked her when was the last time she felt like she had her voice. [SPEAKER_00]: And I was strong, it was powerful. [SPEAKER_00]: She knew her voice was valued. [SPEAKER_00]: And she went back a really long time. [SPEAKER_00]: So, [SPEAKER_00]: I often times want people to see who they are at their finest, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Because that wasn't a one-off, that's who you are. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And then it's about how do we reclaim our voice? [SPEAKER_00]: How do we bring our voice back? [SPEAKER_00]: How do we take our power back with our voice? [SPEAKER_00]: And it's the little steps. [SPEAKER_00]: First we have to acknowledge, we've got to become

aware. [SPEAKER_00]: It's got to become aware before we can change something. [SPEAKER_00]: And then it's about, what is the one thing I can do this week? [SPEAKER_00]: Where I can bring my voice, where I know that it is valued and it is heard. [SPEAKER_00]: And if it's not valued and it's heard, then you're in the wrong room. [SPEAKER_01]: See, I agree. [SPEAKER_01]: It's almost the same as, you know, in patients are like, how can I convince my physician? [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, you're never going to find another physician. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, don't waste time and energy in that place, just leave. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I love that advice. [SPEAKER_01]: Then we have to be not going to

happen. [SPEAKER_00]: We have to be advocating for ourselves. [SPEAKER_00]: But we can quickly lose our power and fall into the imposter syndrome, fall into the lack of confidence, which is why we have to have practices. [SPEAKER_00]: that are building us up so we can walk out, leaving ourselves to lead others with impact. [SPEAKER_00]: We can't just think it's going to, I think I said earlier that we can't trust our mood. [SPEAKER_00]: We can't rely on our mood of the day to guide us, which is why having mindfulness practices is so important. [SPEAKER_00]: Um, to owning our voice and owning how we want to show up for impact. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, if you want to talk

about some anization, I mean, I literally lost my voice when I felt like my power was being taken away like literally, it's, it's, um, sounding to me, the mind, body connection and how powerful that can be. [SPEAKER_01]: Hopefully other people by listening to this won't get pounded on the head as, as hard as I do. [SPEAKER_01]: before I woke up and listened that, you know, something had had to change. [SPEAKER_01]: And so, I remember when I met you, their bodies. [SPEAKER_01]: They have to listen to their bodies, literally. [SPEAKER_01]: Otherwise, your body's going to decide for you. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think you and I have both been through some stuff. [SPEAKER_01]: And so, I remember

when they gave me your bio before I met you and you led revenue streams at Martha Stewart living and I'm like, well, she handled Martha Stewart, you know, she's got me. [SPEAKER_01]: And fast company. [SPEAKER_01]: Then you rebuild your playbook as a coach. [SPEAKER_01]: What boundary statements preserve connection, not distance, when a leader's capacity changes? [SPEAKER_01]: So obviously you watched Martha change, right? [SPEAKER_01]: Across her career. [SPEAKER_01]: So what boundary statements preserve connection, not distance? [SPEAKER_01]: Because we need those boundaries in place. [SPEAKER_01]: And there's very different, I've learned also, boundaries are very different than cutting someone off. [SPEAKER_01]: Brain. [SPEAKER_01]: Boundaries are respectful. [SPEAKER_01]: They're what you need to work with someone. [SPEAKER_01]: So

what preserves connection but not distance as a leader capacity changes? [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to give one quick example of I had, you know, I was working with a provider and we were side by side and then all of a sudden I became a CEO and you gave me the simplest [SPEAKER_01]: because I didn't want to get in it and I was like, no, I love her too much to have this conversation and no Christina, I can't do that. [SPEAKER_01]: And you're like, I just simply want you to show up as the CEO. [SPEAKER_01]: And I literally just showed up differently. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, when she tried to engage in something that may have led to a

disagreement, I just didn't engage, I didn't ignore, but I didn't engage in that manner. [SPEAKER_01]: And that simple presence that you taught me to show up as a leader, [SPEAKER_01]: rather than as her colleague, it changed our, it changed the game and we were able to work side by side without conflict for a couple of years. [SPEAKER_01]: It was great. [SPEAKER_00]: I remember that and I remember and so what's important to hear and what you just said was it was about how you thought about it and how you thought about that relationship had you taking action a little bit differently [SPEAKER_00]: You were your role and it wasn't that it was you were in conflict

with her it was just at the roles it changed and when you started showing up in the role of who you were which was I need to listen to her right to hear her I need to validate her and then we need to work on solutions together everything changed. [SPEAKER_00]: So boundaries, they start with setting boundaries for yourself, really, really important. [SPEAKER_00]: What are the boundaries on what is set for myself? [SPEAKER_00]: Most high performers, people with big titles, CEOs, they still are the fixtures. [SPEAKER_00]: They're still creating all the solutions. [SPEAKER_00]: People are still coming. [SPEAKER_00]: for you to make all everything better. [SPEAKER_00]: And as we are leading ourselves, our job is to

set boundaries. [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody has a job description. [SPEAKER_00]: Your job description is I'm gonna be here for you. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna be your listener. [SPEAKER_00]: This is what you're sharing with them. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna be here for you. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna be your listener. [SPEAKER_00]: I will support you. [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm asking that before you come, [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to sink through three different options. [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to be able to share with me what you've already done to solve this issue. [SPEAKER_00]: And I want you from you, what you think is the best option. [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm going to help you weigh in that way, like, we've set a boundary. [SPEAKER_00]:

You've told them exactly what you need from them so that when they come in and they're like, Dr. Sony, I need you to solve this right now. [SPEAKER_00]: You say, what have you considered? [SPEAKER_00]: And if they get frustrated, you're like, [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, I shared originally that you were going to think about these things that this is what I needed from you before I could weigh in so it's really it's a little bit of block and tackling and it's a little bit about sharing with them what the new rules of engagement are going to be with. [SPEAKER_00]: Not in conflict because when you ask more of your team like that, they're going to rise and

when they rise up your organization, your organization is going to rise. [SPEAKER_00]: and you'll run along with it. [SPEAKER_01]: And they felt like they had stake in the game. [SPEAKER_01]: And it also helped me because I didn't feel overwhelmed. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I had caregiver fatigue because I was caring for children, caring for, you know, your spouse, you are caring for patients all day because I was still seeing patients and then leading the entire team and then also managing the C-suite and the board. [SPEAKER_01]: And so when you ask someone to bring solutions, say, yes, I'm here to listen, but can you please bring solutions? [SPEAKER_01]: they also feel like they have skin in the game

but you also feel less exhausted because they're not just bringing you problems and I remember the other thing you taught me, you gave me permission to not respond to slacks and text and emails after a certain time of the day. [SPEAKER_01]: You're like, you are allowed to answer your team the next day and just that little bit of freedom and saying, oh my god, I can watch TV with my kids or I can cook a really nice meal or have a glass of wine or take a walk with the dogs, [SPEAKER_01]: I'm allowed to do that. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm allowed to be a human being, um, was just so freeing. [SPEAKER_00]: I also remember, do you

remember the conversation that we had about you teach people how to treat you? [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. [SPEAKER_00]: So when we are slacking till midnight, many of my clients are. [SPEAKER_00]: You are teaching others. [SPEAKER_00]: that it's acceptable to be slacking you at midnight. [SPEAKER_01]: The same thing happened when I got sick. [SPEAKER_01]: I, you know, because I was, they watched me, you know, working through illness. [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, then I was teaching them, like, well, I expect you to show up on your ill, but that wasn't what I was telling them. [SPEAKER_01]: If they would have called and sick, I would have been fine with it. [SPEAKER_01]: And so you also got sick, but you were

really sick. [SPEAKER_01]: So until then, after 2019, right, your AML diagnosis and treatment, [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and you were, you got sick at the top of your career. [SPEAKER_01]: You were burning out like I was, what habits became non-negotiable? [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's a good one. [SPEAKER_00]: So I've had three major health crises in my life. [SPEAKER_00]: I've had cervical cancer. [SPEAKER_00]: I've had a hysterectomy from a parent growth in my uterus, and I've had AML leukemia. [SPEAKER_00]: And I look back now, and I see that my periods of my life where I was under the most stress, greatest high level of stress, where the periods that I got sick. [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I decided to

become a coach and got diagnosed with AML leukemia, I did feel like I was being robbed at what I knew was something I was meant to do. [SPEAKER_00]: So for me it was a little bit of a survival tactic for me to launch my business from my hospital bed. [SPEAKER_00]: But I knew that this was my time and it was definitely a survival tactic for sure. [SPEAKER_00]: But I, when everything was at risk in my life, nothing was at risk. [SPEAKER_00]: Right? [SPEAKER_00]: Who cared if, if it failed, my family was like, if it makes you happy, go do it, right? [SPEAKER_00]: Because they, because I was in such critical condition. [SPEAKER_00]: Non-negotiables, there's, there

are quite a few of them. [SPEAKER_00]: I will never force [SPEAKER_00]: I will never let fear make decisions for me. [SPEAKER_00]: Now, it creeps in all the time. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I tell myself that I'm not going to let fear make my decisions for me. [SPEAKER_00]: I will no longer be this hyper-vigilant, hyper-responsible person. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to take care of my health. [SPEAKER_00]: Another one of my non-negotiables is my mindfulness practice every single day, for sure, without fail, except maybe when I'm on vacation. [SPEAKER_00]: But I needed so much when I come back to it. [SPEAKER_00]: Another non-negotiable is I'm never going to work with somebody else again. [SPEAKER_00]:

I learned that working with very high calibre editors and personalities that I wasn't going to work for them anymore. [SPEAKER_00]: You're laughing. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm laughing because I remember telling you this story and I remember learning something from you. [SPEAKER_01]: I was doing something on the internet and my husband is like, [SPEAKER_01]: uh thank god you are the CEO because at that point um you are utterly unemployable and yes I definitely had some very interesting folks in my life but I've learned that at the heart of it I'm an innovator I'm a founder and I don't need a boss. [SPEAKER_01]: I really don't need a boss and so that's kind of my never again is no

more bosses and so I've been offered some sea sweet [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and I've said no to every single one of them because I'm like, I'm not looking for that. [SPEAKER_01]: I'll consult for you. [SPEAKER_01]: I'll sit on your advisory board, but I'm not looking for a full-time employment. [SPEAKER_01]: No, no, thank you. [SPEAKER_01]: Because that does not work for me. [SPEAKER_00]: And I, in mid-life, we get to make those decisions now. [SPEAKER_00]: Right? [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_00]: And that is amazing. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, this is a thank you. [SPEAKER_00]: And my value [SPEAKER_01]: And when I was trying so hard to fit in that other lane, and so you built Sunday Sunshine to remove the Sunday Scaries,

which I don't have anymore because I don't have a boss. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, so you built Sunday Sunshine to remove Sunday Scaries and refuel ambition with sanity. [SPEAKER_01]: What's the minimum effective weekly ritual you recommend to protect health span for the long game? [SPEAKER_00]: So for me it's about trying to get a good night's sleep. [SPEAKER_00]: We know in midlife it's sometimes that can be very hard but it's something I'm intentional about. [SPEAKER_00]: It's about having my my morning practice which is a combination of reading just a few pages journaling and then every single day some form of exercise. [SPEAKER_00]: So those are the most important rituals that I bring into my days. [SPEAKER_01]: So give

me your power of one for this month. [SPEAKER_01]: Either one habit, one conversation, or one boundary that continues to compound over the years. [SPEAKER_01]: So it can be one habit, one conversation, or one boundary. [SPEAKER_00]: Where I go to with that, which isn't a direct answer is belief. [SPEAKER_00]: The one thing I want to have is belief. [SPEAKER_00]: Belief in myself, belief in my intentions, belief in my output. [SPEAKER_00]: belief in my purpose. [SPEAKER_00]: And I believe that the difference between people who are successful and not are the people who stay in belief even when they don't see the results. [SPEAKER_00]: So when you think about like Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk or Sarah Blakely,

[SPEAKER_00]: they got into belief around their big dreams and people told them they were crazy, I think you maybe heard some people say you were crazy as well. [SPEAKER_00]: But all the time, right? [SPEAKER_00]: They stayed in belief, even when they didn't see the results. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to stay in belief, even when I don't see results. [SPEAKER_01]: if you could redesign one norm and how executives run their weeks, what would you change tomorrow? [SPEAKER_01]: Like, tomorrow. [SPEAKER_00]: 100% everybody needs super thing time. [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I'm going to say it's two hours. [SPEAKER_00]: Two hours twice a week would be ideal. [SPEAKER_00]: People say, no, I don't have that time. [SPEAKER_00]: It might be calendars,

so busy, one hour minimum. [SPEAKER_00]: So super think time is time that we spend in our work day where we are thinking about the future of our work, the future of who we are becoming, the future of our role, the future of our impact. [SPEAKER_00]: And we are getting out of the to-dos, we're getting out of the, [SPEAKER_00]: actions that aren't creating the impact we want. [SPEAKER_00]: Remember what we do every day, 20% of what we do causes 80% of our impact. [SPEAKER_00]: So in the super think time, we are using our brain. [SPEAKER_00]: to say, where am I using my superpowers that will be so much more effective than they are less than they

were last week? [SPEAKER_00]: Super thing time has got to be a built in reoccurring calendar invite that nobody can calendar over unless you do it yourself and you put that super thing in time someplace else in the calendar. [SPEAKER_01]: I actually put on here on there, do not move, unchangeable or not changeable, like red, like you can not do this. [SPEAKER_01]: So if this, I could talk to you for days, honestly. [SPEAKER_01]: But if this episode gave you clarity, please share it with a woman, mapping her next quarter, then post your power of one, either a habit, conversation or boundary, and tag us, [SPEAKER_01]: So we can amplify what you're building and doing. [SPEAKER_01]: Sign

up for our newsletter at drsome.com. [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for tuning in to the disruptor. [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for having me, Selma. [SPEAKER_01]: All right, Christina. [SPEAKER_01]: This is more than a conversation. [SPEAKER_01]: It's a call. [SPEAKER_01]: A call to build something better. [SPEAKER_01]: Subscribe, share, and bring more disruptors into this room. [SPEAKER_01]: For unfiltered insights and bold ideas, go to drsomee.com to sign up for the monthly disruptor newsletter. [SPEAKER_01]: And follow us on social at drsomee. [SPEAKER_01]: We're not waiting for a seat at the table. [SPEAKER_01]: We're building our own table.